Quote of the day

"It consists half of people who think like Michele Bachmann and half of people who are afraid of losing a primary to people who think like Michele Bachmann and that leaves very little room to work things out."

- Congressman Barney Frank on the Republican majority and his decision to retire

TMI post about poop

Soon after Megan joined the family, I very happily managed getting all 3 cats to share a litter box. But a couple weeks later, I discovered that Megan had peed on my bed then I caught her in the act of peeing in a box of flea market merchandise. So I set up 2 extra litter boxes near the scenes of the crimes.

That was the end of her peeing outside the box.

But it's funny how cat society works. Litter box #1 is shared by all 3 cats for peeing only. Litter box #2 is shared by Lizzie and Percy for pooping only. Litter box #3 is where Megan poops and Lizzie pees there occasionally.

Lizzie is the dominant cat in the house - that's why she gets to use all 3 boxes, and Megan is low girl on the totem pole, which is why she can't poop in the best box.

While I'm on the subject, I had a moment of extreme joy today. I was babysitting for my friends. Middle child has been working on potty training for awhile. He will pee in the potty but you have to remind him and take him to the bathroom and help him with his pants and lift him onto the toilet. The last time I babysat, he wasn't poop trained yet. But today he pooped in the potty. I said Yay! and clapped and told him how great he was. He was kind of like, lady, what is your problem?

The funniest thing about it - he peed first and I was about to help him get down. Then he suddenly kicked his pants all the way off in a sort of panic. He doesn't talk much so I didn't know what was wrong until he leaned forward and started grunting.

His sister did the same thing when she was his age. Whenever she had to poop, she insisted on taking all her clothes off.

It must be genetic.

Someday these children will be old enough to surf the internet and they'll find my blog and they'll be really mad that I shared such intimate details of their lives. Just be grateful, kids, because I didn't use your names.

Scum of the week

My friend Moose Briller has two complaints about my blog. 1) I don't post enough naked pictures of men anymore, and 2) I haven't kept up with posting scum of the week every Sunday.

In response to complaint No. 1, I give you ass, ass, ass, and a hot-looking 62 year old guy in a speedo.

In response to complaint No. 2, I give you Kansas Governor Sam "Thin Skin" Brownback. This week, Brownback's staff whined that an 18 year old high school girl had mean-tweeted about him. They reported the incident to the girl's school. As a result, she got called into the principal's office.

The tweet in question? Just made mean comments at gov brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot

The principal told her she has to write a letter of apology to Brownback because she hurt his feelings real bad. Brownback's spokeswoman said, “We monitor social media so we can see what Kansans are thinking and saying about the governor and his policies.”

The governor's spokeswoman left off the part about, "so we can censor the critics and tattle on them to the principal."

The 18 year old has received a wave of support from across the country. She hasn't decided whether or not she'll write the letter. A couple of commenters at Talking Points Memo suggested that everyone should put "Brownback" in all of their tweets and Facebook postings:

If the taxpayers of Kansas have to pay for someone to monitor social media for Brownback, let's make sure that person has plenty to look at ...

And maybe it will create some badly needed jobs as more Twitter monitors will be needed.

Brownback is so concerned about getting his feelings hurt, but he doesn't seem concerned about all the women in Kansas who are losing access to essential health care because of his efforts to cut off funding to Planned Parenthood. He signed a law that would prevent PP receiving federal money for cancer screenings, breast exams and birth control for low-income patients. He signed another law that attempted to close all the existing abortion clinics in the state by imposing excessive requirements for exits, bathrooms and lighting that would be too expensive or impractical for the clinics to meet. Federal judges have blocked enforcement but the appeal process is ongoing.

#heblowsalot That's why Gov. Sam Brownback is my choice for Scum of the Week.

Meanwhile, free-speech-loving Americans are teaching Brownback's not-so-media-savvy staff that you don't fuck with Twitter.

My little old man still rules his favorite roost

One of the rules for my blog used to be when you've got nothing better to say, post a picture of Brad Pitt. My new rule is when I've got nothing better to say, post some pictures of my cats.

It's next to impossible to get a picture of Percival with his eyes open. First, because he sleeps all the time. Second, because the flash makes him blink. This is the best I can do.

The kids "helping" me in the kitchen

Who needs a kitty condo when you've got cupboards for them to play in?

Caution: Your Butterball might be a terrorist

In a little-known strike against freedom, yet again, we are being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a torturous method: Islamic slaughter ...

Non-Muslims in America and Europe don’t deserve to have halal turkey forced upon them in this way, without their knowledge or consent. So this Thanksgiving, fight for your freedom. Find a non-halal, non-Butterball turkey to celebrate Thanksgiving this Thursday. And write to Butterball and request, politely but firmly, that they stop selling only halal turkeys, and make non-halal turkeys available to Americans who still value our freedoms.

- American Thinker thinker Pamela Gellar

No hissing

Megan made her reentry without a single hiss or growl from Lizzie and Percival. Lizzie was licking her a little too aggressively so I passed out some treats to break it up. Now, Megan's hiding out under the couch resting.

She has to go back in 10 days to have her stitches removed. When the vet told me that, I thought, "Oh no, I never got Lizzie's stitches taken out."

But Lizzie had glue instead of old-fashioned sutures. Different vets with different preferences within the same practice. Go figure.

A couple of quickies:

• Walking through doorways causes forgetting. Seriously. There's new research shows that the brain compartmentalizes memories based on the room you're in and once you walk through the door, the information gets filed away.

• Kim Kardashian's publicist is working overtime. First, US Weekly reports that anonymous sources (i.e. Kim's momager) say that Kris Humphries was "the husband from hell." Now we learn that Kim is serving turkey to homeless people. She should be hocking that massive "engagement" ring and buying homes for homeless people.

I'm so in love with this guy

Hot trend of the day

People are posting pepper spray reviews on Amazon. Satire at its best.

Michele Bachmann is a Lyin' Ass Bitch

Michele Bachmann appeared on Jimmy Fallon last night, apparently unaware that the band was exercising their First Amendment rights when they played her on. The song they used for her entrance was called "Lyin' Ass Bitch." As Rick Perry would say, "Oops."

Yesterday I took Megan to the vet to be spayed and declawed. She won't be home until Wednesday. Lizzie's sad - without Megan here, she doesn't have anybody to molest. Of course, that won't stop her from hissing and growling when Megan comes home.

I need to get a baby sling because Lizzie insists on being on top of me while I'm sitting at my desk. She was very clingy last night. Percy likes his turn now and then and so does Megan. It would work a lot better if I could have my hands free while they're snuggling with me.

My Thanksgiving dinner will be at Perkins with my mom and two of my brothers. I wish I felt better so I could have them here. I'm hungry for a good, homemade meal and I wouldn't mind cooking it. It's just too much work to try to make my apartment presentable.

Spooky

I've been watching this show "Long Island Medium." It's about a woman who sees dead people. She can't go anywhere without spirits trying to contact her, and the encounters she has seem genuine. She walks up to people and says things that shock them because they're so accurate, and lots of times it's stuff that even their best friends don't know.

One of the things she says is that spirits sometimes show themselves in photos as a spot of light. Look closely at the upper right corner of the photo above. I took several shots of Lizzie and Megan on the couch that day, and this is the only picture that has any kind of spot on it.

Here's the spooky thing. The circle of light is right where Jasmine used to sleep. She's still here.

Jasmine, one year ago

Aches and pains

To anyone who is the caretaker of small children, my aching back salutes you. I spent the day with a one year old - who is adorable but teething - and I had his 4-year-old brother and 6-year-old sister after school. The two older ones were acting out. Their dad's away and they miss him like crazy.

There's a reason I never had kids. That really wasn't my choice but I'm not sure I would've survived if I ever had to live with children full time. They're not that cute 24/7. I don't know how parents do it. Especially knowing that most the little bloodsuckers grow up to be ungrateful.

My appointment with the gyn-oncologist went well on Tuesday. It was the first time he really explained what he was looking for and what he saw. I have radiation damage in the vagina but no visual signs of cancer and no lumps or bumps that shouldn't be there.

He wants me to have a chest x-ray, his standard procedure for Stage 3 at one year out. I asked about CT. He said it's not necessary but he leaves it up to patients if they want the reassurance, so I'll be having that done soon. He also told me he no longer does paps for followup. The newest guidelines say it's not necessary and the pap won't find anything that he won't see on exam. He said they often lead to false positives and extra tests and more anxiety.

He said my aches and pains from chemo are probably here to stay at this point. For the next year, I only have to see him every 4 months instead of every 3. I came away feeling really hopeful.

That's a feeling I'm not used to. It won't last.

Not looking forward to 1:45

I'm posting this morning with the hope that I'll be able to come back tonight and report how silly I was to be so scared. Today is my regular 3-month followup and the anxiety is eating me alive. I'll have a good-looking guy's hand up my yoohoo around 1:45 this afternoon. But not in a fun way.

December 16th will be one year since I finished treatment. My gyn-onc has told me that if I have a recurrence it will most likely happen in the first 2 years after finishing treatment. All along, I've felt like if there was any cancer left in there, it would've been knocked back by all the treatment and probably wouldn't show up the first year. The second year is when I feel like I really have to worry.

I'm also supposed to get my first post-op, post-treatment CT scan soon. Today, they'll probably set up the appt. Im not sure I want to know if anything's going on in there. Lizzie is 11 months old now and Megan is 7 months. They love each other so much and I keep thinking they're going to be great companions well into their old age. But I also keep thinking I'm not going to be here to see them grow old.

It's a 2 hr drive to gyn-onc's. My mom's going with me, so I'll be listening to her problems all the way there and back. She doesn't have much time to listen to anything I have to say.

Last night I had a dream where someone stole Lizzie from me and I kept looking for her, hoping she'd find her way back home. I think I have more anxiety about losing my cats than anything else. My greatest fear is that I'll become incapacitated and have to go to a nursing home and I won't be able to take them with me.

Oops.

Herman Cain loves when people talk about Herman Cain

Therefore, Herman Cain loves Mike Tyson's portrayal of Herman Cain. However Herman Cain knows Herman Cain has a better singing voice. Also, Herman Cain would like to remind you that Herman Cain did not sexually harass those slutty liars who were too haughty to give Herman Cain a blow job. Did that lady really think Herman Cain would hire her before Herman Cain took her for a test drive? Herman Cain wasn't born in Uzbeki-beki-beki-stan. Herman Cain is not anybody's fool.

Herman Cain says, “For every one person that comes forward with a false accusation, there are probably thousands who will say that none of that sort of activity ever came from Herman Cain."

Herman Cain is running for president, y'all. Herman Cain does not have time to harass everybody.

Paid for by the Herman Cain Committee to Elect Herman Cain. Herman Cain did not approve this message about Herman Cain.

Herman Cain Sings 'Imagine There's No Pizza' from Mike Tyson

I owe Megan an apology

She's in heat again and she's miserable. It's worse this time than the first - which is normal.

I should have insisted on getting her spayed last week. I never should've let that vet get away with telling me she couldn't possibly be in heat so young - I should've asked to talk to the other vet, my actual vet, who had already acknowledged that we didn't know her real age.

I'm shoulding all over myself. Anyway, I'm mad. And I'm tired of listening to my poor baby's moaning and yowling.

Percy has been a bad, bad kitty

Percival has a secret hideout in the back of my closet where he goes when the other cats get to be too much for him or he wants to take an undisturbed nap. I was cool with that, until today when I noticed a bunch of empty hangers and saw that he had pulled some clothes off the hangers and used them to make a little nest for himself. Naughty naughty.

The good news is that when I climbed back in there to pick them up, I found some winter clothes I forgot I even had.

Harold the finch has a death wish. After I cleaned the cages yesterday, I realized there was only one bird in a cage where there was supposed to be two. It didn't surprise me that he escaped. What surprised me was that the cats hadn't noticed.

But they had. All 3 of them were in the bedroom staring at the top of my bookshelves, tails twitching, trying to figure out how to get up there. I have a net but I couldn't catch him. He kept flying back and forth across the room from the bookshelf to the curtain rod. When he wore himself out, he swooped a little too low and Megan leaped onto the bed and snatched him out of the air.

I thought he was a goner but she just had him trapped between her paws. He got away when I pulled her off him. I had to lock Megan and Lizzie in the bathroom. (Percy's too slow to be much of a threat.) Harold would not sit still long enough for me to catch him. I got so frustrated I was thinking about letting the girls have at him. Finally, he was worn out enough and I managed to get him back where he belonged.

This afternoon, Megan got her final shots. The vet revised her age upward again. Previous estimates would put her at 5-6 months but now he says she's 7 months, judging by her teeth. He says she's just going to be a petite kitty.

I didn't say anything about the whole "she's too young to be in heat" lecture I got from his female associate, but he must have known something about it. He said he was putting a note in her chart with her revised age "so you won't have any more trouble."

Her surgery is now scheduled for the 21st. Can't do it any sooner because, guess what, she's coming in heat again.

The picture is Percy staring at the top of the bookshelves on a previous occasion when one of the finches flew up there.

I shouldn't read TPM first thing in the morning

I've been flying high over the news that Conrad Murray was convicted for killing Michael Jackson and the judge ordered his ass to get carted off to jail. Yes, my life is that empty.

Then I clicked on over to Talking Points Memo this morning. The top headline was "Heading for Super Catastrophe." The Congressional Super Committee that's supposed to fix the deficit (i.e. give Obama and Congress cover for not fixing the deficit) is at a deadlock because Republicans won't raise taxes on billionaires and Democrats are standing up for everyone else.

One half of the catastrophe is that Medicare cuts will kick in automatically. Providers - like the cancer center and my gyn-oncologist - will have their reimbursements drastically reduced. Hopefully, the doctors I'm already seeing won't drop me (although there's no guarantee of that). But other people on Medicare and those on Medicaid will have a harder time getting health care.

In other words, Republicans are so afraid the CEOs of Exxon and GE and the bankers on Wall Street might not be able to shuttle from private jets to vacation homes on gold-leafed private helicopters that they don't care if Grandma can't get that bypass surgery she needs.

Remember those death panels they warned you about? Grover Norquist sits at the head of that table.

As if all that wasn't depressing enough, TPM also reported on Mississippi's "Personhood Initiative," which says that an embryo in a petrie dish has the same rights as a corporation. If it passes, using an IUD or taking a morning after pill will be the legal equivalent of regulating Wall Street bankers. Or something like that.

Speaking of depressing, the Republican party of Maine told people that same-day voter registration is evil because gays and lesbians are for it.

Also, Herman Cain admitted that his wife has been brainwashed. That must be why she's still married to him even though he goes around pushing other women's faces into his crotch.

What happens when bullies write a law against bullying

[The Michigan anti-bullying bill] does not prohibit a statement of a sincerely held religious belief or moral conviction of a school employee, school volunteer, pupil, or a pupil’s parent or guardian.

- the Michigan Republican Senate's amendment to SB 137 "Matt’s Safe School Law"


I am ashamed that this could be Michigan’s bill on anti-bullying when in fact it is a ‘bullying is OK in Michigan law."

- Kevin Epling, the father of 14 year-old Mark Epling who committed suicide after being bullied at school

source more info

I have nothing interesting to say

Not that it's ever stopped me before. I've been wrapped up in the Conrad Murray trial. Closing arguments ended on Thursday, so now I can get back to normal life.

Now, here's the video of the day. Don't watch this unless you want to cringe. Background story can be found here.




That's also what Michael Jackson grew up with and we know where he ended up.