I heart Jon Stewart

TPM has a collection of readers' photos from The Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear. The signs are great. They have another gallery here. CBS News used the same firm to estimate crowds at Glenn Beck's rally and at Jon Stewart's. They said Beck had 87,000 and Stewart had 215,000.

Some of my favorite signs:

• 3 Words That Will Save the Economy: Gay Bridal Registry

• I May Disagree With You But I'm Pretty Sure You're Not Hitler

• Can't We All Just Get A Bong?

Happy Halloween

I'm not just a pelvis

This morning I had my first meeting with the radiation oncologist. He said he doesn't see any reason to do vaginal cuff brachytherapy on me. I will have 28 external radiation treatments, which I'm not thrilled about, but I'm so relieved I don't have to do internal that I don't care.

The one thing I'm upset about is that my GYN-oncologist didn't call the rad-onc until more than two weeks after he said he would - and I had to call GYN-onc to remind him to do it. As a result of his procrastination, I won't be starting radiation until Nov. 8, which will be five weeks after I finished chemo. GYN-onc told me I should start rad 3-4 weeks after chemo.

I've been dealing with cancer since March. I just want to get my treatment over with so my life can get back to something like normal.

The best news is I really like the rad oncologist. He has great bedside manner. When he was going over my history, he said it was great to have a patient who was so intelligent and had a good memory. That's the first time any of these doctors has acknowledged that I do have a brain.

He also asked questions about my emotional issues and how my bipolar symptoms were doing. He's the first cancer doctor who's paid attention to that too. Finally, someone who realizes I'm a whole person, not just a pelvis.

A few quickies:

• A homophobic Arkansas school board member posted a rant on Facebook where he said all gay people should kill themselves. You can read some of what he said here. Last night, he finally resigned on Anderson Cooper.

• Kanye Wang - allegedly (NSFW)

• Naked Pumpkin Run

Debbie downer

I'm really down this week. My GYN-oncologist let me down again. He was supposed to call the radiation oncologist at the local cancer center to set up my treatment and he didn't do it. I waited two weeks then called GYN-onc and he finally took care of it. This is the same thing that happened when I was supposed to start chemo.

I'm meeting the rad-onc on Friday. Hopefully, I'll be starting radiation next week. That'll be four weeks after I finished chemo. I should have started this week.

From what I've been told, I'm supposed to get external radiation five days a week for five or six weeks. Now I'm wondering what they do Thanksgiving week. Do I just miss a treatment? Are they open on holidays?

I have so many questions for the doctor. And like usual, I probably won't ask them.

The crazy caucus

Esquire Magazine has a list of the 10 worst members of Congress. My representative made the list. Steve King was named part of "the crazy caucus," along with Michele Bachmann and Louis Gohmert. I'm so proud.

Now King is running on a platform of repealing what little progress the Dems have made. Here's his newest ad.

Patience is not my thing

I saw my gynecological oncologist a week and a half ago. He said he'd call the radiologist here and the radiologist would contact me about my treatments. I haven't heard from either one of them so I called the radiologist today. The GYN-onc hasn't contacted him yet.

The same thing happened before I started chemo. GYN-onc didn't contact them when he said he would - I had to call him and remind him.

I still don't know exactly what treatments I'm going to get or when they're going to start. Pisses me off.

For fun, check out pictures of Muslims wearing things.

More quickies

Here you go.

• Oh those crazy Germans: Demonstrators in Berlin are protesting high rents by stripping off their clothes and prancing around apartments naked while wearing Mickey Mouse masks.

• Attention all you school administrators who want to broadcast prayers over the PA system: The kids who don't want to hear it can just put their fingers in their ears. That'll make it okay. At least according to the Board of Education in Chattanooga, TN.

• Attention dog murderers: Don't take the body to the vet to be cremated. You'll get arrested. This guy in Florida repeatedly abused his dog, with lots of witnesses, but nobody did anything until the poor dog died.

• More stupidity and inhumanity at work: A firefighter in Georgia took video at a car crash scene, including the victim's body. Then somebody emailed the video to the victim's parents.

• And more: A guy in Ohio got pissed off at his girlfriend. So he maced his newborn baby daughter.

• From the Washington Post: The front-page newspaper story featured a list of Uganda's 100 "top" homosexuals, with a bright yellow banner across it that read: "Hang Them." Alongside their photos were the men's names and addresses.

• An Indiana Republican who's running for the House says global warming is a lie. He says he knows that because he listens to Rush Limbaugh and reads the Bible.

• The answer: A pistol, a laptop, a grappling hook, binoculars, an expandable baton, an extensive collection of lock picks, glow sticks, duct tape, a stun gun, zip ties, a head lamp, leg cuffs and handcuffs, several condoms, syringes and pills, and a tool box full of women's underwear. The question: What was found in the car of the guy arrested for receiving child pornography?

• Good detective work: A teenager in Michigan attacked a guy wearing a Gumby costume. The communications officer typing up the police report searched You Tube on a hunch and found a video of the attack, then traced the perp via Facebook.

• Only in Florida. (Well, Arizona too.)

• Actual news headline: Seven inches is enough, RIM tells Jobs.

More boring cancer stuff

Yesterday, I had my checkup at the cancer center and found out that all my blood counts are down, esp. white cells and neutrophils. Yay, that means the chemo is actually doing something. Boo, that means I have to take special precautions so I don't get sick. The precautions include staying away from sick people, taking my temp twice a day, not eating fresh fruit and veggies, and not using rectal suppositories.

Who would've guessed suppositories would be on that list?

The biggest downside is that my radiation will be delayed until my blood counts get back to normal. The part that pisses me off is that the cancer center didn't schedule me for any future checkups. So I'm just supposed to guess what my blood counts are doing?

Future Senator?

From a story about Christine O'Donnell's debate with her opponent in the Delaware Senate race:

When O'Donnell cited "indispensable principles" of the Founding Fathers in her criticism of an overreaching federal government, Coons interrupted her to say, "One of those indispensable principles is the separation of church and state."

"Where in the Constitution is the separation of church and state?" O'Donnell asked, a statement that drew laughter from the audience ...

"The First Amendment establishes the separation, the fact that the federal government shall not establish religion," Coons said.

"The First Amendment does?" O'Donnell interrupted. "You're telling me that the separation of church and state is found in the First Amendment?"

When Coons summarized the amendment as saying government shall make no law establishing religion, O'Donnell interrupted again: "That's in the First Amendment?"

Her comments, in a debate aired on radio station WDEL, generated a buzz in the audience.

"You actually audibly heard the crowd gasp," Widener University political scientist Wesley Leckrone said after the debate, adding that it raised questions about O'Donnell's grasp of the Constitution.

A lot of her supporters are as ignorant as she is. This probably went over their heads.

Bacon & other quickies

• Boeing sent a letter to 90,000 employees telling them that they'll have to pay a lot more for the health plan next year. The company blamed it on health care reform, even though the reform they're talking about doesn't take effect until years from now.

• Do people who are ignorant about sex buy more dildos? I'm wondering because that might explain why Republican Georgia state senator Calvin Hill has actively campaigned against sex education classes at public universities but he owns a company that sells sex toy.

• A Saudi prince was found guilty of sexually assaulting and murdering one of his male servants in a London hotel. If he returns to Saudi Arabia, he'll be executed. Not for committing murder - for being gay.

• Mmm. Bacon.

• June Cleaver and Howard Cunningham, aka Barbara Billingsley and Tom Bosley, died this week. Who's going to be #3?

• Duh.

The Boy Scout, the Aqua Buddha and other quickies

Should people with Down Syndrome receive federal funds to go to college? Here's why I think not: Professors sometimes are advised to modify the integrated classes by doing things like shifting away from a format that relies entirely on lectures and adding more projects in which students can work in groups.

If there are classes DS people can participate in (with the help of tutors) without the class being altered to accommodate them, I'm in favor of that. But I don't see why other college students should have their education affected.

More quickies:

• Some people shouldn't have children. Example #1 - A guy in California was arrested at 10:30 pm on Saturday but he was so drunk he forgot he had the 3 year old son with him. The mother reported him missing and the kid was found in his car seat in a parking facility 24 hours later. Example #2 - A 17 month old in Florida was brought to the hospital with second degree burns: It was alleged that the burns came from a rash after the child was left in an extremely soiled diaper for several days.

• The highest court in the United Arab Emirates says it's okay for a man to beat his wife and kids as long as he doesn't leave bruises. Which was too bad for the guy who kicked and slapped his wife and daughter and left the evidence on them. Also too bad for every woman and child in the UAE.

• Lost your bong? Don't worry - the cops will find it for you.

• I learned a new word today. Gangtackled - as in "Predictions are sometimes gangtackled by actual events."

• The Flying Biscuit does not allow girl on girl. A Raleigh, NC, security guard and his supervisor kicked a Lesbian couple out of the mall because they put their arms around each other and kissed each other on the cheek.

• Does gay bashing help people get elected? Stay tuned till November.

• More than 40,000 people, many inebriated, had taken their goats to the Tildiha village temple in Bihar state to offer sacrifice and prayers to the goddess Durga on the last day of the Navratri festival. That's when the riot started and 10 people were killed. People were arguing about who's goat would get sacrificed first.

• This is why I don't do Facebook.

• Fark headline of the day: Numerous health problems linked to phthalates, according to the Sylvester Cat Research Institute

• Most inappropriate Halloween costumes ever. My favorite is #19, the giant sperm. Or maybe it's #9, the waitress from Droopers.

• Best debate ever? A candidate for governor in New Mexico meant to say "big fat bonuses." She actually said "big fat boners."

• More political buffoonery: Rand Paul's opponent for Senator from Kentucky is running TV ads questioning his faith because he used to worship Aqua Buddha.

• Even buffoonerier: The mayor of San Gabriel, CA, was arrested for purse snatching after he was caught driving 45 through a 25 mph zone with a woman clinging to his SUV. He explained, "As a public official and a former Boy Scout, I hold myself to the highest standard of conduct."

I forgot what day it was

The first couple of hours I was up this morning, I thought it was Sunday. That's what happens when I don't sleep enough.

There's an online cancer support forum where I hang out sometimes. A couple of weeks ago, I started a thread asking people to tell me about their experiences with radiation, especially side effects - the good, the bad and the ugly. Only a couple of people responded and they didn't really tell me much about the bad part.

Well, this week there have been several threads where people who are currently going through radiation or had it within the last couple of years are talking about how bad it is. Diarrhea, pain when you have to go, rectal pain, rectal bleeding, bladder pain, painful urination, blisters in the vagina, etc. If it were temporary, just while you're getting treatment, I could handle it. But some people are still having these problems months and years later.

I really, really don't want to do radiation. Last week, my GYN-oncologist told me the radiologist would be contacting me soon. I haven't heard from him yet. I have an appointment at the cancer center tomorrow for blood work so I'll ask about it then.

My hair's growing back - and it's curly!

I think it's been growing in a little bit each time between treatments then it'd fall out again. But now there won't be any more treatments.

I have a few strands that never fell out. I had cut them really short but they're about 1.5 inches now. And they're starting to curl. My hair's always been curly but I was afraid it would come back straight.

Here's the best news - most of what's growing in is brown. I was sure I'd go completely gray.

A few weeks ago my psychiatrist started me on Wellbutrin XL. I used to get most of my sleep in the morning. Now, I'm wide awake by 9 a.m. no matter how late I went to sleep. The last couple days, I didn't fall asleep till it was light out but I was still wide awake at 9.

I'm slightly manic and I've been writing like crazy. I decided I'm going to submit some short stories to literary mags. Last night, I went through my files and found six stories that are ready to send after minor edits. I think they're pretty good but that might be my mania speaking.

It would be a huge boost if I could get one accepted.

I'm feeling really stupid right now

For the last couple months, boy cat's appetite has seemed off. He would eat the canned cat food I gave him first thing in the morning. Then he'd only take a few bites of dry food the rest of the day.

Last night, it occurred to me that maybe he's got something wrong with his teeth or something else that makes it hard for him to eat the dry food. Why didn't I think of that sooner?

Today, I gave him his normal serving of canned food first thing. Then I offered him another serving a couple of hours later. He gobbled it down like he was starving.

God, I feel so guilty.

You have to watch this

Would you?

It would break my heart if Mike Rowe did this to himself.

Sharing a spot of sunshine

Today as I scooped the poop out of the litter box, it occurred to me that I must really love these guys. It's rare that I get a picture of them awake.

Stand way back and maybe nobody gets hurt

Today, I had to go to the cancer center for my blood work and nursing evaluation. They were supposed to draw my blood at 11:00 but it was was 11:30 before they got to me. Usually, that's the one thing you don't have to wait for down there. It annoyed the hell out of me.

This was the first time that all my blood counts were down (white cells, red cells, neutrophils, etc.) It sucks because I can't start radiation until they're back to normal. But the weird thing is it also made me feel like the chemo's working.

Then the nurse mispronounced my name when she called me over the speaker in the waiting room. My last name is one syllable - it's pronounced exactly the way it's spelled. But there's always someone who tries to complicate things.

I was in a bad mood when I left so I decided to punish myself by going to McDonald's. Like I need all those calories and all that fat. Like I can afford to blow money on fast food. When I'm paying, the cashier makes a mistake and has to wait for someone to bring a key before I can get my change. Again, I'm annoyed but she was nice about it. But while I'm waiting for my change, the dimwit at the pickup window leans out the window and claps her hands at me like "Hurry up!"

What the fuck. When I finally get there to pick up my order, she's standing with her back to me yelling at someone complaining about how long it's taking. So I clapped my hands at her, really loud. She's so busy yelling that she doesn't hear me so now I'm sitting there waiting for my food, while it's getting cold. When she finally turns around, I complained. Instead of just apologizing, she starts yelling at me explaining how her coworker is so stupid. So I yelled back. She keeps yelling at me, meanwhile cars are stacking up behind me and I don't give a fuck. I yelled "I want to speak to your boss" three times before her boss, who was standing there the whole time, finally came to the window and I yelled at her. She apologized but I know the employee won't catch hell - instead, they probably stood there bitching about what a bitch I was.

It's a good thing I don't carry a gun.

A few more things that pissed me off today:

• I am sick and tired of hearing about breast cancer. It's not the only cancer that kills women - it's not even the leading cause of death for women. The attention it's getting is too disproportionate. And it pisses me off!

• A Huff Po piece about the foreclosure crisis. Some of the links within it have interesting stories. It infuriates me what these banks are getting away with. Every time I look at my growing credit card balance, I think about how I'm going to stick it to 'em when I die.

• The sidebar headline on Huff Po says "Bret Favre Addresses Perverted Sexting Accusations." I think they mean he's the pervert but it reads like the accuser is perverted. Either way, it's just a penis - and not a terribly impressive one at that. Get over it!

Big city and back

So I went down to the big city to see my gynecological oncologist. The exam hurt like hell. He strongly recommends radiation - including vaginal cuff brachytherapy, which I've been googling all night. I'm still not exactly sure what it is. The local radiologist will be contacting me to set up an appointment.

The radiation will take about 6 weeks and I won't be able to start it for 2-3 weeks, which means I'll be done with treatment the first week in December at the earliest.

It's been a long fucking year.

An insufficient number of newts

Waiting for my hair to grow back

One of my neighbors has a yappy little dog that's been barking continuously for two days now. She was laid off work for several weeks and I'm thinking she probably got another job. He's not used to being left alone now. I'm glad I don't live right next door to her. I might have to assassinate the little bastard.

I'm done with chemo - I hope forever. They told me it takes about six weeks for your hair to start growing back in. Since I have a few stubborn strands that never fell out, I'm hoping it'll start coming in sooner.

Those few stubborn strands worry me though. If the poison didn't kill all my hair, maybe it didn't kill all the cancer either.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment in the big city to talk to my gynecological oncologist about radiation. He's expecting me to do it and I probably will but I'm more scared of radiation than I was of chemo. It has more potential for permanent side effects.

My last chemo treatment didn't seem as bad as the previous two. My legs didn't hurt as much but the fatigue was worse. I got completely out of breath just trying to pick up a few things around the house. When I took the garbage out, I could barely make it back up the steps, then I sat on the couch and panted for half an hour. Finally, last night, I got my strength back.

Overall, I still tire more easily than I used to. I've gone flea marketing with one of my friends a couple of times in recent weeks and I had to sit down and take rest breaks while she kept going. From what I've read, fatigue will be the primary side effect of radiation. They say it has a cumulative effect. But I'm also worried about getting chronic diarrhea, bladder urgency, and blisters in my vagina.

The hard part is I don't have any symptoms from the cancer itself. If I wasn't going through treatment, I'd be feeling fine.

Last chemo

I should be celebrating. I just got back from my last chemo treatment. But I feel really, really sad. I'm scared that maybe it didn't work. I'm afraid of getting radiation. I'm really lonely.

I flipped off an old lady yesterday

I wish I could blame it on the stress of having cancer but I've always had a road rage kind of temper. I went to Walmart yesterday to stock up on groceries before chemo next week. It was about 4:30, right when people are getting off work and Friday, therefore payday for a lot of them. I really should have waited to go later - or got off my ass and went earlier - to avoid the crowd.

Anyway, I was out in the parking lot loading groceries into the side door of my van when this old lady and her friend come out. She said, "Excuse me, I need to get into my car." I had like one bag left to put in and then I was going to move my cart. I turned around to say "Almost done" and there she was right behind me about to push me out of the way.

So I moved and didn't tell her to fuck off even though I wanted to. She gets in her car and sits there talking to her friend. Yeah, you were in such a hurry, bitch. I walk around to the other side of my car, put my cart in the corral, get in my car and start it, and check to see that she's still sitting there in her car talking. So I put my car in gear and start backing out. After I'm halfway out of my space, she starts backing up too. She would have hit me if I hadn't been watching her. That's when I flipped her off.

If it weren't for the fact that I have chemo next week and didn't want to have to deal with the hassle, I totally would've let the bitch run into me and made her pay for it. She's lucky all she got was the finger.

Time for some quickies:

• Maybe the whole world's not crazy: Fox News has 296 advertisers who have asked that their commericals do not appear during Glenn Beck's show or when he guests on O'Reilly or other Fox shows.

• Speaking of Beck: Last week, Bill O'Reilly was a guest on Jon Stewart's show. Stewart said he'd like to have a conversation with Beck and O'Reilly replied, "Nobody can. He's in a sealed room...he's like Elvis and Howard Hughes."

• In other it's-not-news-it's-cable idiocy, CNN's Rick Sanchez got fired for throwing in a couple of anti-semitic comments when he criticized Jon Stewart. Sanchez always reminded me of the William Hurt character in "Broadcast News" - pretty boy airhead.

• Did you know that a ten year old gas-powered lawn mower causes more pollution in one hour than a brand new car causes in a year? The info was provided by a company that's selling roller lawn mowers, so it's probably about as reliable as drug company research which never tells you the bad shit until after a few people die.

• "I wait months, until I have six brains, and then it's kind of worth [the examiner's] while to make the trip to Staten Island to examine six brains," said the medical examiner who was sued when a girl's classmates took a field trip to the morgue and saw her brother's brain in a jar of formaldehyde.

• Attention, ladies: If your boyfriend starts spitting bananas and throwing doughnuts at you, don't arm yourself with a banana, rip it in two and jam it in his ears. You'll both be charged with domestic violence.

• Fark headline of the week: Hey Guatemala, sorry we gave you VD. Sincerely, USA

• Cobra McJingleballs