Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Pop go the weasels

Quickies with a theme:

• Corporate weasels: Northern Trust Bank received $1.6 billion in bailout money and laid off 450 workers in December. Last week, they sponsored a PGA tournament in L.A. and threw lavish parties for their executives and clients. Sen. Sherrod Brown says:

"A lot of banks seem to be talking out of both sides of their mouths. When we ask what they are doing with taxpayer funds, they claim it's impossible to track the money because it is fungible. But when it comes to paying for parties, all of a sudden an enormous wall divides the TARP money from everything else. They cannot have it both ways."

• More weaseliness: Spansion, Inc. laid off 3000 employees on Monday, 35% of its workforce, while at the same time its board voted to increase the pay of executives. The workers didn't get a severance package.

• Weaselier still: Three months ago, the president of the State University of New York instituted a hiring freeze and warned that salaries would have to be cut. This week, he received an $8600 raise. The only difference between corporate weasels and academic weasels is how many zeroes are tacked on at the end.

• Somewhat weasely: For the last 15 years, a school crossing guard in a small town in Pennsylvania has been known as the Hat Man because of the funny hats he wore . Everybody loved it, except for some weasely bureaucrats who recently told him the hats were "unprofessional" and made him stop wearing them. The citizens are fighting back though.

Word of caution: If you're a famous singer and actor and your laptop is full of explicit pictures of yourself having sex with other Chinese stars, don't send it to a computer shop for repairs. Unless you want to see your skinny cock all over the internet. The women, who live in China, have seen their lives and careers destroyed. The dimwit is Edison Chen - he's Canadian so he's free and clear. The weasel in this story is the computer tech guy who sold the photos.

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