Attention ACLU, Steven Spielberg, Kevin Bacon and everyone else who got ripped off by Bernie Madoff: Maybe there will be justice after all.
This morning, the guy who blew the whistle on Madoff testified before Congress. At one point, he said:
I want to make this perfectly clear to all those Russian mobsters and Latin American drug cartels out there ... I was acting on your behalf trying to stop him from zeroing out your accounts. I'm the good guy here.
Will Bernie's house arrest save him? Will they blow up the whole building to get to him? Stay tuned.
Time for some quickies.
• Only in Russia: Passengers on an Aeroflot flight headed from Moscow to New York objected when they realized their pilot was drunk. Airline officials reassured them it didn't matter because these new-fangled planes practically fly themselves. What makes this story particularly Russian is that airline officials now say the pilot wasn't drunk. The passengers were suffering from "mass psychosis."
• Fark headline of the day:
Good news, America: President Obama hasn't smoked a cigarette on the White House grounds since he took office. Isn't that great? Now, go buy a car.
• Good advice from Fark:
If you see a man wearing a sleeping bag as a cape and carrying a screwdriver as a weapon, you may want to run. (the story)
• The evil geniuses at Ticketmaster have a subsidiary website called TicketsNow which resells concert tickets. Amazingly enough, when 60,000 tickets to Springsteen concerts sold out within minutes, TicketsNow immediately offered the same tickets for 4 times the original price. Gosh. Ticketmaster doesn't even know how that happened. Wink wink.
• Paleontologists have discovered the fossil of a snake that lived 50 million years ago. It was more than 40 feet long and weighed 2.5 tons. Tons. One of the scientists said: " It mocks your preconceptions about how big a snake can get."