Don't underestimate me because I have glasses and I'm fat

I'm starting to feel sorry for Nadya Suleman, the woman who already had 6 children before she gave birth to octuplets. All 14 children were conceived through in vitro. Now, she's being stalked by paparazzi who report on her every move.

They followed her to the bank where she was withdrawing some money. They've staked out a house she may or may not be trying to buy while she was doing an interview there. She was photographed buying a $15 tube of lipstick.

A lot of the outrage I'm hearing sounds like the typical hate that's directed at people on welfare. There's a general consensus that she's probably mentally ill but the press and the public are treating her like a criminal.

Leave Octomom alone!

Time for some quickies:

• TMZ now has a police photo of Rihanna, taken right after she was beaten by her boyfriend Chris Brown. Imagine what she would've looked like the next day when the bruises got darker. He's being investigated for attempted murder because he threatened to kill her and there are reports he choked her until she passed out.

There are also reports that his security team was following them that night. They whisked him away, leaving his car and a badly injured Rihanna behind. He was gone when the police arrived.

• Unrequited love, or, Don't believe everything you read on Craig's List: A guy in Texas got arrested for harassment after he placed an ad featuring a picture of a woman who refused to date him. The ad said she would "moan like Shamu for you."

• From the land of Proposition Hate: A high school principal in California canceled production of the play "Rent," because it features gay characters. The script was a sanitized version that had already cut out the adult content.

• That lovely home you rented in London? The one where strange men keep ringing the doorbell late at night? Former brothel.

• Wyatt Earp was a thief and a pimp who went on a murderous rampage. Or maybe not.

• A woman in Iowa was arrested, jailed and taken to court because she failed to return a $14 library book. Because, you know, the police have nothing better to do.

• A woman in Pennsylvania is going to trial for animal cruelty after selling "Gothic Cats" on eBay. She pierced their ears and tails.

• Fark headline of the day:

Rock bottom: (noun) - a state of being exemplified by not even being successful at killing yourself when jumping off a bridge, and then getting 4 years in prison for killing the police dog that was biting your arm when you jumped. (the story)

• This Fark headline pretty much tells the story: Standing in front of the backpacker with one hand on his hip and the other on his penis, Loomes asked: "Has this ever happened to you before?"

• Good news for me because I'm too lazy to cook homemade: Campbell's is lowering the sodium content in many of its canned soups.

• Asshole alert: A woman in Canada was diagnosed with breast cancer. When her employers found out, they fired her.

• More assholes: The New York Post is taking well-deserved heat for publishing a cartoon that depicted Obama as a chimp who's been shot by the cops.

• "Don't underestimate me because I have glasses and I'm fat." That's what the guy with the gun said to the guys he was trying to rob.

• Can you identify the guy in the picture? He's an actor best known for a TV series he was in 40 years ago.

Turn ons: buffed up men in tights
Turn offs: people who've never been crazy or poor judging those who are