Stop calling or we'll arrest you. That's what the police told a 17 year old girl in Florida, who kept asking for help because her ex-boyfriend was abusing and harassing her. A month later, he killed her and then killed himself.
• In the Northwest, they have salmon in their rivers. In the Rockies, they have trout in their streams. In Iowa, they have carp in their sewer pipes. That headline from Fark pretty much sums it up.
• Want a boob job for that girl you've got tattooed on your calf? Better think twice. A guy in Canada tried it but his body rejected the implants. Now, he's got an oozing open wound on his leg.
• Tumbleweed: That's the new nickname of the baby who survived a tornado that killed his mother and threw him 500 feet into a field.
• A waste of perfectly good chocolate. A woman walked into a bank holding a bouquet of flowers and a candy box. She gave the box tothe clerk and told her not to put it down because it was a bomb. There were wires protruding from the box so police evacuated the Super Target where the bank was located. The box? No bomb - just chocolate.
• A couple of weeks ago, a man went on a shooting rampage at a city council meeting in Kirkwood, MO. Now, the city council in nearby Steamboat Springs is discussing security upgrades. One of the council members said, “Maybe we should just not piss off the constituents."
• All your money and a condom. That was the demand of an armed robber in Ohio. Only 1 condom? I guess he didn't think he was going to get that lucky.
• Happy Vagina Day! That was the hot pink headline on the front page of an L.A. high school newspaper, which also featured a drawing of a vagina. The 15 year old student editor said he wanted to raise awareness for violence against women. After the school objected, the editor and some of his friends returned the next day wearing t-shirts that said, "My vagina is obscene."
I thought it was only obscene if you called it a cunt. Just ask Jane Fonda - she's still getting heat for using the c-word on Today when discussing The Vagina Monologues on V-Day.
If you ask me what's obscene, it's the fact that Jane's slip of the tongue (does that sound dirty?) provoked more outrage than teenage girls getting murdered by their boyfriends.
(The picture is comedian Sarah Silverman. She talks a lot about dog poop.)