Dear Qwest

Tonight I tried to pay my bill online and your new "security" system wouldn't allow me to access my account.

You require a security code which has to be sent to me through snail mail. Guess what? SNAIL MAIL IS NOT SECURE.

Do you have any idea how many times the mailman has put my mail in my neighbor's mail box? Or how many times my mailbox has been broken into? Do you know how many things have supposedly been sent to me that I never received?

Nevertheless, I requested my security code last month, received it, and tonight I entered it on your website. Then you asked me for a security question. The answer has to be 8 characters or longer. All my answers to standard security questions I could think of (favorite pet, high school mascot, etc.) are shorter than 8 characters.

When I got creative and made up my own question, you guys said it was "invalid."

Maybe that's because my question was "What the fuck is wrong with Qwest?"

And my answer was, "They suck!"

I wanted to send this letter directly to you, but apparently, the address for customer service is a state secret. It's not listed anywhere on your website or on my bill. Google couldn't find it either.

The cable company offers local phone service now. Who'da thunk anyone's customer service could suck more than theirs?

Buh-bye, Qwest!