I can tell I'm slightly manic because this is post #50 for this month, the most I've ever done. And I'll devote this one to a news story about the principal of a Catholic high school in Kentucky:
According to police, Schum was issued a citation by Louisville Metro Police for loitering for the intent of prostitution.
"He could provide no legitimate reason to them for being in the alley. So they presumed that the legitimate reason was for prostitution purposes. Based on his clothing and some other statements he made to them," said LMPD Det. Phil Russell.
According to a police report, Schum was dressed like a woman in leather. He was wearing fishnet stockings and fake breasts.
Happy Halloween.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Should I be offended?
A judge in Colorado devised an unusual punishment for people who were arrested for playing music too loud in their cars. He sentenced them to 1 hour of listening to "unpopular or unusual music."
What did they have to listen to? Dolly Parton, The Carpenters, Barry Manilow and Barney.
What does it say about me that I like that kind of music? Well, except for Barney.
I write the songs that make the whole world cringe
I write the songs of love and special things ...
What did they have to listen to? Dolly Parton, The Carpenters, Barry Manilow and Barney.
What does it say about me that I like that kind of music? Well, except for Barney.
I write the songs that make the whole world cringe
I write the songs of love and special things ...
Half-hearted optimism
I was going to start a separate blog for my so-called "Happiness Journal." It just seemed like too much work. And the truth is, I'd rather write about the stuff that pisses me off.
Here goes anyway. Things that made me happy today:
Here goes anyway. Things that made me happy today:
- I did my dishes.
- My car didn't get towed. Landlord threatened to tow any cars in the lot that didn't have his new parking stickers. I was afraid mine would fall off or they wouldn't be able to see it through the tinted windows.
- Most of the tenants have started parking in the street instead of getting stickers. Long story there but I think we've got a little rebellion going. If I didn't leave my car sit for days at a time, I'd park on the street too.
- I wrote a couple of good scenes for my novel.
- The chapter I took to writers group on Monday got great reviews.
Turn ons: the budding romance between the cop and the English teacher in my novel
Turn offs: so-called journalists who are nothing more than spinners
Dennis Kucinich looks like Mr. Spock
The most interesting thing that came up in Tuesday's Democratic debate was when they asked Dennis Kucinich if he's ever seen a UFO. He said yes.When Chris Matthews interviewed Bill Richardson afterwards, that was all Matthews wanted to talk about. It really pissed me off and Richardson looked annoyed. He doesn't get enough TV time and he had more important things to talk about.
During the debate, Obama said he didn't know about life on other planets but he knew there was life on earth and that was what he was concerned about. Blah blah blah. Sometimes, he's too clever for our own good. He's kind of like Mitt Romney but with brains - a big talker who's more interested looking good than doing the right thing.
He's criticizing Hillary for her recent vote on Iran, but he was too busy campaigning to even show up for the debate. If he thought the resolution was so wrong, why wasn't he there fighting against it?
Richardson defended Hillary when the others called her untrustworthy. Before the debate, a pundit said Richardson is running for Vice President. It sure looked that way to me. The same guy said Biden wants to be Secretary of State.
Hillary was on the defensive all night but that was only because everyone was attacking her, even the moderators. She wasn't quite as commanding as in past debates but she held her own.
Back to UFOs. Kucinich isn't claiming he saw a ship from outer space. He just said he saw something in the sky and he wasn't sure what it was.
Just this weekend, I was reading about exopolitics, which is what they call the study of life on other planets. A Washington Post article about a group of UFO researchers in Virginia said:
Of course, UFO enthusiasts are used to having their ideas about aliens and intergalactic spacecraft ridiculed. Those who opine that there are "others" out there are bound to hear they're more than a little out there themselves. If you talk to enough of them, you realize they have heard all of the insults before: nut job, wacko, loony, space case ...
The researchers believe that as more and more credible sources, people like Jimmy Carter and Kucinich come forward, and as more papers like the Washington Post write articles about them, people are starting to accept the idea that intelligent beings from other planets might be visiting the earth.
Three years ago, a small town in Sicily experienced a series of unexplained appliance fires. Refrigerators, TVs and toasters would start burning for no reason. Some of them weren't even plugged in at the time. Experts looked into it and wrote a report:
... the fires were "caused by high -power electromagnetic emissions which were not man-made and reached a power of between 12 and 15 gigawatts".
The report also details an incident of a possible UFO landing close to Caronia - 60 miles east of Palermo - after "burnt im-prints which have not been explained were found in a field".
Yesterday Francesco Mantegna Venerando, Sicily's Civil Protection chief who co-ordinated the report, said: "We are not saying little green men from Mars started the fires, but that unnatural forces capable of creating a large amount of electromagnetic energy were responsible. This is just one possibility. We are also looking at another one which involves the testing of top-secret weapons by an unknown power which are also capable of producing an enormous amount of energy."
A long time ago, I read a book about ancient Tibetan prophecies. It said there would be dramatic climate changes around the year 2000. Regions like Iowa that had temperate climates would become more tropical, with hotter temperatures and shorter winters. And climates like the southern US would start experiencing more cold weather.
They also said that beings from other planets, who've been visiting Earth for centuries, would begin to make their presence known.
Why is it that I think space aliens are the best hope for saving us?
When I was in my 20s, I had recurrent nightmares about walking above the ground and above the trees and being afraid that I would fall and then I would. Those kinds of dreams are supposed to be a symptom of alien abduction.
No, I don't think I was abducted by aliens. The dreams represented my anxiety that I was flying too high and I would fall. At the time, I had a good job with lots of opportunities and I was hoping to go to med school. And I did fall.
In case you need it, here's a handy checklist of signs you've been abducted by aliens.
Back to the debate: Of all the candidates, Kucinich comes closest to standing for what I believe in. Dodd comes in second. If I thought either one of them had a shot at winning, I'd support them.
I'm stuck with Hillary. I think she's got the best chance of winning and she'll surround herself with the best people.
Totally unrelated: If you're looking for a belly laugh, check out this article, Why Some Women Would Rather Stay Single.
If ever I would leave you ...
Another one of the cultural icons from my childhood, died this week. Robert Goulet was 73. He was one of those guys who found a look and stuck with it for 40 years. God, I loved his voice.
If ever I would leave you
It wouldn't be in summer ...
Saturday, October 27, 2007
My cat sort of looks like me
A British professor's study using online questionnaires showed that pets and their owners become more alike over time:
Prof Wiseman's study also revealed owners of certain pets appear to share similar personalities.
Fish owners were apparently the most contented, with 37 per cent strongly agreeing that they were happy, compared with 24 per cent of people with cats and 22 per cent of those who had dogs agreeing.
Four out of 10 people with dogs believed they were fun-loving, compared to just two per cent of reptile owners.
Those with cats came out as the most dependable, but also the most emotionally sensitive, while those who kept reptiles were the most independent.
My girl cat is short and fat and always hungry like me. Her coat is dark with reddish highlights, kind of like my hair. My boy cat hides from people. When he can't escape, he hisses and growls at them. That's me.
Turn ons: hypomania - yup, I have it
Turn offs: sleep deprivation - eventually it'll catch up with me
Prof Wiseman's study also revealed owners of certain pets appear to share similar personalities.
Fish owners were apparently the most contented, with 37 per cent strongly agreeing that they were happy, compared with 24 per cent of people with cats and 22 per cent of those who had dogs agreeing.
Four out of 10 people with dogs believed they were fun-loving, compared to just two per cent of reptile owners.
Those with cats came out as the most dependable, but also the most emotionally sensitive, while those who kept reptiles were the most independent.
My girl cat is short and fat and always hungry like me. Her coat is dark with reddish highlights, kind of like my hair. My boy cat hides from people. When he can't escape, he hisses and growls at them. That's me.
Turn ons: hypomania - yup, I have it
Turn offs: sleep deprivation - eventually it'll catch up with me
10 minutes to evacuate
From Time:
In 2006 the New Orleans Times-Picayune asked people to write in their advice for future evacuations. Their responses read like poetry, and you won't find most of them on any Red Cross checklist: my own pillow, Sudoku, shoes other than flip-flops, solar-powered garden lights, cat litter (for the humans), the kids' immunization records, the good bottles of wine we were saving for special occasions, and Xanax.
I've thought about it and here's what I would take if I had 10 minutes to evacuate my apartment: my purse, my pills, my cats, the backup disk for my novels, my star quilt, grandma's school house cookie jar.
If I had time after I got all that stuff out (which would depend on how well my cats cooperated), I'd take the tower for my computer, my great grandmother's vase, my other great grandmother's costume jewelry, a few CDs.
If I had time after that, depending on how widespread the disaster, I'd grab a change of clothes & whatever cans of soup & other food & drinks I could carry. If it was just my building on fire, I'd grab more quilts & my family history book & one of my ceramic cats instead of food.
Come to think about it, I should email myself a copy of the most important files from my computer, like my database with addresses & phone numbers, a few of my favorite pictures, & the most recent drafts for my writing projects. If I store them online, I won't have to worry about saving my computer. And I need to make a copy of my essential passwords (bank, credit card, email) to keep in my purse.
By the way, AP reports that about 2 dozen firefighting helicopters and planes were grounded for up to 24 hours after the wildfires started this week because of bureaucratic red tape and lack of funding. Your tax dollars at work. In Iraq.
In 2006 the New Orleans Times-Picayune asked people to write in their advice for future evacuations. Their responses read like poetry, and you won't find most of them on any Red Cross checklist: my own pillow, Sudoku, shoes other than flip-flops, solar-powered garden lights, cat litter (for the humans), the kids' immunization records, the good bottles of wine we were saving for special occasions, and Xanax.
I've thought about it and here's what I would take if I had 10 minutes to evacuate my apartment: my purse, my pills, my cats, the backup disk for my novels, my star quilt, grandma's school house cookie jar.
If I had time after I got all that stuff out (which would depend on how well my cats cooperated), I'd take the tower for my computer, my great grandmother's vase, my other great grandmother's costume jewelry, a few CDs.
If I had time after that, depending on how widespread the disaster, I'd grab a change of clothes & whatever cans of soup & other food & drinks I could carry. If it was just my building on fire, I'd grab more quilts & my family history book & one of my ceramic cats instead of food.
Come to think about it, I should email myself a copy of the most important files from my computer, like my database with addresses & phone numbers, a few of my favorite pictures, & the most recent drafts for my writing projects. If I store them online, I won't have to worry about saving my computer. And I need to make a copy of my essential passwords (bank, credit card, email) to keep in my purse.
By the way, AP reports that about 2 dozen firefighting helicopters and planes were grounded for up to 24 hours after the wildfires started this week because of bureaucratic red tape and lack of funding. Your tax dollars at work. In Iraq.
Boner
For Seattle: TV chef Anthony Bourdain.Things that made me happy today:
1) email convos with online friends
2) hanging up on telemarketers x 2
3) the sexy vampire on Moonlight
4) FEMA getting busted for their "press conference"
5) playing Sudoku online
6) blogging
FUBAR
A hopeful sign: Halliburton employees are suing the company on behalf of all taxpayers for the waste they observed in Iraq. Their attorney is an anti-fraud crusader who "spends most of his days and many of his evenings on a lonely legal campaign to redress colossal frauds against American taxpayers by private contractors operating in Iraq. He calls it 'the crime of the century.'"
Much of the waste is attributed to Halliburton's subsidiary KBR. One example of what the employees saw:
... Bud Conyers ... was summoned to fix a broken refrigerated truck ... at Log Base Seitz, on the edge of Baghdad's airport. He and his colleagues had barely begun to inspect the sealed trailer when they found themselves reeling from a nauseating stench. The freezer was powered by the engine, and only after they got it running again, several hours later, did they dare open the doors.
The trailer ... had been lying idle for two weeks ... in temperatures that daily reached 120 degrees. "Inside, there were 15 human bodies," he recalls. "A lot of liquid stuff had just seeped out. There were body parts on the floor: eyes, fingers. The goo started seeping toward us. Boom! We shut the doors again." The corpses were Iraqis, who had been placed in the truck by a U.S. Army mortuary unit that was operating in the area.
... both civilian and U.S.-military regulations state that once a trailer has been used to store corpses it can never again be loaded with food or drink intended for human consumption ...
But when Bud Conyers next caught sight of trailer R-89, about a month later, it was packed ... with bags of ice—ice that was going into drinks served to American troops.
Meanwhile, Bush promises to veto this week's version of the SCHIP bill that would provide health insurance to 6.4 million children. The plan would cost $35 billion over the next 5 years.
But he's requested $46 billion for the war in Iraq, on top of the $455 billion that's already been wasted there. $20 billion of that has gone to KBR.
And it's becoming more and more clear that he intends to take us into Iran.
Much of the waste is attributed to Halliburton's subsidiary KBR. One example of what the employees saw:
... Bud Conyers ... was summoned to fix a broken refrigerated truck ... at Log Base Seitz, on the edge of Baghdad's airport. He and his colleagues had barely begun to inspect the sealed trailer when they found themselves reeling from a nauseating stench. The freezer was powered by the engine, and only after they got it running again, several hours later, did they dare open the doors.
The trailer ... had been lying idle for two weeks ... in temperatures that daily reached 120 degrees. "Inside, there were 15 human bodies," he recalls. "A lot of liquid stuff had just seeped out. There were body parts on the floor: eyes, fingers. The goo started seeping toward us. Boom! We shut the doors again." The corpses were Iraqis, who had been placed in the truck by a U.S. Army mortuary unit that was operating in the area.
... both civilian and U.S.-military regulations state that once a trailer has been used to store corpses it can never again be loaded with food or drink intended for human consumption ...
But when Bud Conyers next caught sight of trailer R-89, about a month later, it was packed ... with bags of ice—ice that was going into drinks served to American troops.
Meanwhile, Bush promises to veto this week's version of the SCHIP bill that would provide health insurance to 6.4 million children. The plan would cost $35 billion over the next 5 years.
But he's requested $46 billion for the war in Iraq, on top of the $455 billion that's already been wasted there. $20 billion of that has gone to KBR.
And it's becoming more and more clear that he intends to take us into Iran.
More shark jumping
Larry Craig has become a gay rights crusader. Not really. At least he wouldn't characterize it that way. But he is challenging the Minnesota law that got him arrested on Constitutional grounds, claiming that toe tapping and waving his hand under the bathroom stall divider is free speech. I happen to agree with him on this one.
I have no sympathy for Senator Not-Gay but I don't think men should get arrested for using subtle signals to try to pick up a date. There's nothing aggressive or indecent about tapping your foot in a men's room. If the guy in the next stall doesn't tap back, nothing happens. Toe tapping doesn't prove the intent to have sex on the premises.
FEMA - Keith O says the F stands for fake. I still think it stands for Fucked up. What could be more fucked up than calling a "press conference" to brag about their response to the California fires but not inviting the press? The only people present were FEMA employees, who tossed pre-fab questions to the spokesperson who responded with canned answers.
And according to Bill O'Reilly, tolerance is a bad. He's complaining that gay Dumbledore is J.K. Rowling's attempt at indoctrinating children to believe in "Parity for homosexuals with heterosexuals."
Caught on tape this week: Cheney dozing off during a cabinet meeting. And it's not the first time it's happened.
I have no sympathy for Senator Not-Gay but I don't think men should get arrested for using subtle signals to try to pick up a date. There's nothing aggressive or indecent about tapping your foot in a men's room. If the guy in the next stall doesn't tap back, nothing happens. Toe tapping doesn't prove the intent to have sex on the premises.
FEMA - Keith O says the F stands for fake. I still think it stands for Fucked up. What could be more fucked up than calling a "press conference" to brag about their response to the California fires but not inviting the press? The only people present were FEMA employees, who tossed pre-fab questions to the spokesperson who responded with canned answers.
And according to Bill O'Reilly, tolerance is a bad. He's complaining that gay Dumbledore is J.K. Rowling's attempt at indoctrinating children to believe in "Parity for homosexuals with heterosexuals."
Caught on tape this week: Cheney dozing off during a cabinet meeting. And it's not the first time it's happened.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
You're not here. You don't know me.
In case you were wondering, Larry Craig is a top. This gorgeous bear (picture from perezhilton) claims he had sexual encounter with LC twenty years ago in a Capitol Hill gay bar known as The Follies. He says:"There were so many closeted neocons who trolled for cock and ass there, particularly cock and ass on younger men: Terry Dolan, Jon Hinson, and a bunch of other men who seemed to run in a close and secretive group. I had sex with some of them at The Follies, and I even went home with a couple of them - at different times, at least - based on smooth talk and their attraction to a 20-something geek. One of them I would later recognize as Larry Craig."
According to the bear, LC went down on him, he went down on LC, then LC did him in the butt. I'll spare you the rest of the gooey details except to note that Senator I'm Not Gay wore a condom. At least he plays safe.
And he kept repeating, "You're not here. You don't know me."
A Viet Nam memoir
If you haven't seen it before, check out Mushy's Moochings, a blog about a soldier's experiences in Viet Nam. It's so well written, full of vivid detail. Every time I go there, I can't pull myself away until I've read all the new entries.
A couple of my favorites: Remembering Susie, Monday Monday
Things that made me happy today:
A couple of my favorites: Remembering Susie, Monday Monday
Things that made me happy today:
- Last night, I slept 6 hours straight and I woke up feeling rested.
- I washed a sinkful of dishes. There's still another sinkful left but it's progress.
- The meds my doc started me on yesterday stopped the bleeding. Now, maybe I can get some color back in my skin.
- When I told my new therapist about some of the crap my landlord's been pulling, it even made her feel anxious. Finally, someone understands how much stress that asshole is creating for me.
- Last week, I cashed in my Amazon gift certificate to buy Pink's new CD and it showed up today. Love it. Better than I thought it would be.
- I think I'm on the brink of a manic episode. I could really use one to get caught up on my housekeeping and other projects. I've got the Seroquel standing by in case I start to go over the edge.
The Republicans have jumped the shark
Once upon a time, Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell were respected by a large segment of American society.Then Falwell started blaming "the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way" for causing the 9/11 attacks. And Robertson said, "Well, I totally concur."
Now most Americans consider Falwell and Robertson ridiculous parodies of themselves.
On Wednesday, Fox News commentators speculated that al Qaeda may have started the California wild fires. They based all this on a blog piece written in 2003 regarding an FBI memo from that same month regarding an alleged tip that terrorists were planning to start forest fires in western states but not including California. But FNC (Faux News Network, as Keith O calls them) made it sound like this was based on a recent news story.
Then there was Rudy Giuliani's Freudian slip, also on Wednesday: "I took a city that was known for pornography and licked it to a large extent, so I have my own set of qualifications."
And Rick Santorum (whose remarks that gay marriage might lead to man on dog marriage led to his surname becoming a synonym for "that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes a by-product of anal sex") announced that he will be writing a bi-weekly newspaper column for the Philadelphia Inquirer.
I wonder what his first topic will be. Bi men on the down low? How to find a third to fulfill your wife's MFM fantasy?
More likely, it will be more of his brilliant observations like: "Islam, unlike Christianity, is an all-encompassing ideology ... It is not just something you do on Sunday."
No, Mr. Former Senator - Islam is something you do on Friday. And unless you right-to-lifers have been lying to us, Christianity IS an all-encompassing ideology.
And how about Michelle Malkin who referred to "dishwashers, cooks and other suspect Hillary campaign contributors in New York's Chinatown, Flushing, the Bronx and Brooklyn who were limited-income, limited-English-proficient and smellier than stinky tofu."
Which proves that just because you are Asian American doesn't mean you can't be prejudiced against Asian Americans. It's starting to seem like bigotry is a pre-requisite for being a Republican pundit.
Mitt Romney is still trying to get away with his Osama-Obama routine. On Tuesday, he said "Actually, just look at what Osam — Barack Obama — said just yesterday. Barack Obama, calling on radicals, jihadists of all different types, to come together in Iraq."
That joke is getting just as stale as Rudy's phone call routine. Back in July (when the picture above was taken), Romney pretended he didn't read the sign and told everyone to "lighten up."
Meanwhile, I'm wondering why the McCain campaign still has me on their mailing and phone list. Two calls and one pamphlet this week from Mr. Desperate Panderer assuring me that he'll put an end to abortion and gay marriage. Obviously, his people haven't read my blog.
Keith O has started referring to them as the "terrorpublicans." The really scary part? There are still nut jobs out there who take these idiots seriously.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Things that make you go WTF
Why have the telecom companies been so quick to accommodate Bush's requests to invade their customers' privacy? Because they profit from it.
Comcast charges $1000 to install a FISA wiretap and $750 month for as long as it continues. No court order - all they need is a National Security Letter. Basically, if you piss off the wrong person, or if you make a phone call to someone else who pissed off the wrong person, your ISP and phone company will turn over records of all of your internet activity and calls to the Feds.
And Bush wants Congress to give the telecoms immunity from prosecution.
Here's another story that stunned me. NASA conducted a four-year survey of pilots on the safety of air travel in the U.S. Now, they want to destroy all the data. Why?
Because the study showed that near collisions and runway interference were far more common than was being reported to the FAA:
The AP sought to obtain the survey data over 14 months under the U.S. Freedom of Information Act.
"Release of the requested data, which are sensitive and safety-related, could materially affect the public confidence in, and the commercial welfare of, the air carriers and general aviation companies whose pilots participated in the survey," [a NASA official] wrote in a final denial letter to the AP. NASA also cited pilot confidentiality as a reason, although no airlines were identified in the survey, nor were the identities of pilots, all of whom were promised anonymity.
Among other results, the pilots reported at least twice as many bird strikes, near mid-air collisions and runway incursions as other government monitoring systems show, according to a person familiar with the results who was not authorized to discuss them publicly.
The survey also revealed higher-than-expected numbers of pilots who experienced "in-close approach changes" potentially dangerous, last-minute instructions to alter landing plans ...
One more thing: Alberto Gonzalez might be prosecuted for the U.S. attorneys firing scandal. That's what one of the experts said on Keith Olbermann last night. Probably just wishful thinking.
Comcast charges $1000 to install a FISA wiretap and $750 month for as long as it continues. No court order - all they need is a National Security Letter. Basically, if you piss off the wrong person, or if you make a phone call to someone else who pissed off the wrong person, your ISP and phone company will turn over records of all of your internet activity and calls to the Feds.
And Bush wants Congress to give the telecoms immunity from prosecution.
Here's another story that stunned me. NASA conducted a four-year survey of pilots on the safety of air travel in the U.S. Now, they want to destroy all the data. Why?
Because the study showed that near collisions and runway interference were far more common than was being reported to the FAA:
The AP sought to obtain the survey data over 14 months under the U.S. Freedom of Information Act.
"Release of the requested data, which are sensitive and safety-related, could materially affect the public confidence in, and the commercial welfare of, the air carriers and general aviation companies whose pilots participated in the survey," [a NASA official] wrote in a final denial letter to the AP. NASA also cited pilot confidentiality as a reason, although no airlines were identified in the survey, nor were the identities of pilots, all of whom were promised anonymity.
Among other results, the pilots reported at least twice as many bird strikes, near mid-air collisions and runway incursions as other government monitoring systems show, according to a person familiar with the results who was not authorized to discuss them publicly.
The survey also revealed higher-than-expected numbers of pilots who experienced "in-close approach changes" potentially dangerous, last-minute instructions to alter landing plans ...
One more thing: Alberto Gonzalez might be prosecuted for the U.S. attorneys firing scandal. That's what one of the experts said on Keith Olbermann last night. Probably just wishful thinking.
Glenn Beck SUX
Wild fires are rampaging in southern California. About 250,000 people have been evacuated in San Diego and Malibu is also up in flames. And what does CNN's Glenn Beck have to say about it?
"I think there's a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today."
CNN used to be my go-to source for news. Now, it's nothing but a joke. I usually turn to Fox first when there's a breaking news story. And I hate Fox.
Sioux City, Iowa, got a mention on Keith Olbermann Monday night. It's official: Sioux City still SUX.
In other news, the Bush whacker requested another $189 billion for the war in Iraq. From Reuters:
"They should pass a good, clean bill as soon as possible," Bush told reporters at an event where he was flanked by veterans and family members of fallen soldiers. Lawmakers who say they support the troops should "show it," he said.
"Congress should not go home for the holidays while our troops are still waiting for the funds they need," Bush said.
"Isn't this getting to be a little old?" Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, a Democratic war opponent from Nevada, asked on the Senate floor after Bush spoke.
Turn ons: Harry Reid, on occasion
Turn offs: Senseless acts of war
"I think there's a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today."
CNN used to be my go-to source for news. Now, it's nothing but a joke. I usually turn to Fox first when there's a breaking news story. And I hate Fox.
Sioux City, Iowa, got a mention on Keith Olbermann Monday night. It's official: Sioux City still SUX.
In other news, the Bush whacker requested another $189 billion for the war in Iraq. From Reuters:
"They should pass a good, clean bill as soon as possible," Bush told reporters at an event where he was flanked by veterans and family members of fallen soldiers. Lawmakers who say they support the troops should "show it," he said.
"Congress should not go home for the holidays while our troops are still waiting for the funds they need," Bush said.
"Isn't this getting to be a little old?" Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, a Democratic war opponent from Nevada, asked on the Senate floor after Bush spoke.
Turn ons: Harry Reid, on occasion
Turn offs: Senseless acts of war
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Zero tolerance is stupid
A 7 year old in New Jersey got suspended from school because he drew a picture of himself shooting his friend with a squirt gun. The school has a zero tolerance policy for guns. At least it was only a one-day suspension but still, aren't there bigger problems schools need to be focusing on.
Why not explain to the kid why people are concerned, warn him that he'll be punished if he does it again, and make him write an essay to demonstrate that he understands. Like the mother said, "What 7-year-old do you know that's not fascinated by guns and bombs and everything? ... Especially a boy."
The story also cited a case where 4 kindergarteners were suspended for 4 days after they played cops and robbers, using their fingers as guns. I remember reading another case where a teenager was suspended because the school found a butter knife in the back of his pickup. The knife fell out of a box of things the kid's mother had asked him to drop off at the Goodwill.
In the days of zero tolerance, maybe schools should stop assigning science projects:
When she dropped the package off yesterday morning at Florence Township High School, the woman explained to school officials that her son needed the white pellets it contained for his science project.
All was fine until she mentioned that her son had urged her to be careful because the pellets could explode if dropped. Police said that prompted school officials to immediately lock down the school and call out township police, area hazardous materials teams, and the state police's bomb squad.
The alleged weapons of mass destruction? Those little white plastic pellets used in stuffed animals. They might explode as in spill all over the place if the bag is dropped.
Overreact much?
And that's not the worst of it. The 16 year old student was arrested and charged with causing false public alarm, disorderly conduct, and causing or risking widespread injury or damage
Here's a case where a British school had what I consider an appropriate response to a problem. A 4 year old white boy spat on a 10 year old black boy. The older boy thought it was a racist attack, so the school investigated and now they're getting blasted for it by the press and 4 year old's parents. The head teacher explained:
"When a child makes an allegation of any kind, whether it's bullying, racism, or general unhappiness, we investigate by talking to them. We couldn't dismiss this.
"A nursery nurse spoke to Rocky and I spoke to the older boy. We talked to them about what happened and why it might have happened. That's what an investigation is in a primary school.
"In this case, a little boy did think something had happened and felt he had been singled out. But after investigating, I decided this was not the case – it was just naughty behaviour."
Now here's something I have zero tolerance for. A guy in Pennsylvania told a judge he kicked his girlfriend's 2 year old son across the room and punched him because, "I'm not a morning person." The most shocking line in the story:
Three days later, Arreola was alone and caring for the boy when Arreola punched the boy twice to keep him awake ...
WTF? The mother saw the guy kick her son and left him alone with the kid three days later.
Why not explain to the kid why people are concerned, warn him that he'll be punished if he does it again, and make him write an essay to demonstrate that he understands. Like the mother said, "What 7-year-old do you know that's not fascinated by guns and bombs and everything? ... Especially a boy."
The story also cited a case where 4 kindergarteners were suspended for 4 days after they played cops and robbers, using their fingers as guns. I remember reading another case where a teenager was suspended because the school found a butter knife in the back of his pickup. The knife fell out of a box of things the kid's mother had asked him to drop off at the Goodwill.
In the days of zero tolerance, maybe schools should stop assigning science projects:
When she dropped the package off yesterday morning at Florence Township High School, the woman explained to school officials that her son needed the white pellets it contained for his science project.
All was fine until she mentioned that her son had urged her to be careful because the pellets could explode if dropped. Police said that prompted school officials to immediately lock down the school and call out township police, area hazardous materials teams, and the state police's bomb squad.
The alleged weapons of mass destruction? Those little white plastic pellets used in stuffed animals. They might explode as in spill all over the place if the bag is dropped.
Overreact much?
And that's not the worst of it. The 16 year old student was arrested and charged with causing false public alarm, disorderly conduct, and causing or risking widespread injury or damage
Here's a case where a British school had what I consider an appropriate response to a problem. A 4 year old white boy spat on a 10 year old black boy. The older boy thought it was a racist attack, so the school investigated and now they're getting blasted for it by the press and 4 year old's parents. The head teacher explained:
"When a child makes an allegation of any kind, whether it's bullying, racism, or general unhappiness, we investigate by talking to them. We couldn't dismiss this.
"A nursery nurse spoke to Rocky and I spoke to the older boy. We talked to them about what happened and why it might have happened. That's what an investigation is in a primary school.
"In this case, a little boy did think something had happened and felt he had been singled out. But after investigating, I decided this was not the case – it was just naughty behaviour."
Now here's something I have zero tolerance for. A guy in Pennsylvania told a judge he kicked his girlfriend's 2 year old son across the room and punched him because, "I'm not a morning person." The most shocking line in the story:
Three days later, Arreola was alone and caring for the boy when Arreola punched the boy twice to keep him awake ...
WTF? The mother saw the guy kick her son and left him alone with the kid three days later.
You might be a junkie if ...
You have tiny bags of heroin hidden in the foreskin of your penis. When a man was arrested for theft in Ireland, the police received a tip that they should do a more extensive drug search. After the tiny plastic bags of heroin were found in his penis, they took him to a hospital for x-rays, where they discovered he also had a cell phone and charger stashed up his butt. The cell phone was turned on.
So the next time you're out in public and you hear a cell phone ring and no one answers it, you'll know why.
So the next time you're out in public and you hear a cell phone ring and no one answers it, you'll know why.
Got crabs?
The Idaho Statesman, which Larry Craig blames for outing him (oops, sorry I forgot he's not gay), reports that the SuperValu grocery store chain lost almost $10 million in a scam. They received fake emails purporting to be from Frito Lay and American Greetings claiming that the companies wanted them to send payments to new bank account numbers. The FBI recovered most of the money.By the way, Harry Potter's wizard pal Dumbledore IS gay. Seriously. JK Rowling revealed that during a speech at Carnegie Hall.
Got crabs? The Rotterdam Natural History Museum wants to hear from you. They're looking for specimens for their collection, which already holds 300,000 different species. Last year,British doctors published a study saying pubic lice rates are dropping off. They speculated that Brazilian waxing may be one of the reasons. Quoting the museum curator:
"When the bamboo forests that the Giant Panda lives in were cut down, the bear became threatened with extinction. Pubic lice can't live without pubic hair."
Speaking of pesky insects: I think my cats have fleas. I'm not sure where they picked them up since they never go outside. Just one more annoyance I need to deal with.
Things that made me happy today: 1) phone call from my friend in Seattle, 2) playing Halloween Hangman
Turn ons: "Moonlight," the new TV series about a vampire private eye (that's the star, Alex O'Loughlin in the picture)
Turn offs: itchy infestations
Creepy but true
Cracked.com has a story about the 5 creepiest urban legends that really happened. Here's a summary:
- A couple spends the night in a hotel and then complain to management that there's a foul smell in the room. The source of the odor is a corpse hidden under the bed. There are several true cases where this happened.
- A crew filming a episode for "The Six Million Dollar Man" at a California amusement park discovered that a hanging man prop was actually the mummified body.
- A Delaware woman hung herself from a tree 5 days before Halloween. For several hours, passerby assume it was just a Halloween decoration.
- More Halloween horror: People have repeatedly faked hanging themselves in front of an audience but ended up dead when the stunt went wrong.
- Being mistakenly buried alive used to happen so often in the 19th century that they put bells and other signalling devices in coffins. More recently, there have been several cases where people were sent to the morgue and occasionally, the autopsy was started before anyone realized they were still alive.
One of the scariest stories they didn't include is when someone is undergoing surgery and wakes up from the anesthesia before the operation is finished. They're still paralyzed by the other drugs so they have no way to signal the doctors that they're awake and can feel the pain.
And about the corpse under the bed: A few years ago, my mother and I took a trip to Michigan. We spent the night in a hotel room that had a foul odor. I checked under the beds - no bodies. It smelled like mold and mildew, not rotting flesh.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
More quickies
Next time, invite her. The Athens, Ohio, county prosecutor says, I have a category of crimes that I like to refer to as 'aggravated stupid.'
One such case: A woman dug up her ex-boyfriend's grave and stole his ashes. She was mad she didn't get invited to his funeral.
She took her name a little too seriously. In Florida, 51 year old Barbara Robinson was arrested for hosting a teenage beer party. Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.
Why I always turn on the lights when I go to the bathroom. From NY Daily News:
Nature's call forced Nadege Brunacci, 38, to the dark bathroom in her Cobble Hill, Brooklyn, apartment in the wee hours of Monday morning. While washing her hands, she glanced back at the toilet to find a 7-foot-long python staring back at her.
"I turned on the light and screamed, 'Oh, my God!'" said the hiss-sterical restaurateur. "It still makes my heart race."
She slammed down the lid, put a heavy box on top of it and began calling city agencies. Most didn't believe her, and the ones that did told her, "We don't do snakes," she said.
Seriously, I always turn on the lights and check the toilet before I sit down.
One such case: A woman dug up her ex-boyfriend's grave and stole his ashes. She was mad she didn't get invited to his funeral.
She took her name a little too seriously. In Florida, 51 year old Barbara Robinson was arrested for hosting a teenage beer party. Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.
Why I always turn on the lights when I go to the bathroom. From NY Daily News:
Nature's call forced Nadege Brunacci, 38, to the dark bathroom in her Cobble Hill, Brooklyn, apartment in the wee hours of Monday morning. While washing her hands, she glanced back at the toilet to find a 7-foot-long python staring back at her.
"I turned on the light and screamed, 'Oh, my God!'" said the hiss-sterical restaurateur. "It still makes my heart race."
She slammed down the lid, put a heavy box on top of it and began calling city agencies. Most didn't believe her, and the ones that did told her, "We don't do snakes," she said.
Seriously, I always turn on the lights and check the toilet before I sit down.
Another right-wing nutjob
Susan Orr has been appointed as the new chief of family planning at the Department of Health and Human Services.
Why do I care? Because Orr has been very vocal about her opposition to the federal government paying for contraception. She has said, "... fertility is not a disease. It's not a medical necessity that you have [contraception]."
Apparently, she's forgetting about women like me who use the pill to treat serious medical conditions such as PCOS and endometriosis. Not to mention women with medical conditions such as diabetes which would make pregnancy dangerous and potentially fatal.
Why do I care? Because Orr has been very vocal about her opposition to the federal government paying for contraception. She has said, "... fertility is not a disease. It's not a medical necessity that you have [contraception]."
Apparently, she's forgetting about women like me who use the pill to treat serious medical conditions such as PCOS and endometriosis. Not to mention women with medical conditions such as diabetes which would make pregnancy dangerous and potentially fatal.
The BBC does it tight
BBC commentator Jerry Wogan wore moleskin pants on the air and sparked a wardrobe malfunction controversy in the UK. Judging by the picture, he's not circumcized.
Did you know that the British refer to a guy's package as the 'lunchbox'?
The things I learn on the world wide web. The term was coined for former Olympian Linford Christie's genitalia, as displayed in his clingy spandex running suits. Allegedly, he wasn't as well endowed as old Jerry but I couldn't find any clear pictures to back that up.
Incidentally, moleskin is the fabric actors and actresses often wear when they're doing nude scenes. It clings to the naughty bits and doesn't show on camera while offering some protection for their modesty.
Oh, did you know that tight pants clinging to a man's genitalia is called a 'moose knuckle' in the US? Google it and you'll find lots of interesting pictures. Matthew McConaughey is famous for his.
The female version is called camel toe. There are entire websites devoted to that. Beyonce and J Lo are known for showing toe.
Things that made me happy today:
1) writing a good scene for my novel
Did you know that the British refer to a guy's package as the 'lunchbox'?
The things I learn on the world wide web. The term was coined for former Olympian Linford Christie's genitalia, as displayed in his clingy spandex running suits. Allegedly, he wasn't as well endowed as old Jerry but I couldn't find any clear pictures to back that up.
Incidentally, moleskin is the fabric actors and actresses often wear when they're doing nude scenes. It clings to the naughty bits and doesn't show on camera while offering some protection for their modesty.
Oh, did you know that tight pants clinging to a man's genitalia is called a 'moose knuckle' in the US? Google it and you'll find lots of interesting pictures. Matthew McConaughey is famous for his.
The female version is called camel toe. There are entire websites devoted to that. Beyonce and J Lo are known for showing toe.
Things that made me happy today:
1) writing a good scene for my novel
2) going to writer's group
3) getting completely caught up on my dish washing for the first time in months
4) Jerry Wogan's pants
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Time flies
Yesterday would have been my father's 71st birthday. He died 17 years ago and it's hard to believe it's been that long. For some reason, last night all I could think of was his old work boots.He worked his ass off from the time he was a teenager until he had a stroke at age 44. It left his right arm paralyzed, his right leg partially paralyzed, and his speech was severely impaired.
He wanted to go back to work. The doctors and physical therapists said they might be able to rehab him for a new job. But the union reps warned him that if he took a new job, he would lose all of the insurance and disability benefits he had earned from his old job. He and my mom still had 2 kids living at home, so they couldn't take the risk of losing the family's health insurance and a guaranteed disability income for a chancey opportunity.
So my dad spent the last 10 years of his life sitting in an old recliner doing word search puzzles and shredding newspapers.
The most vivid memory I have of him right now are the boots he wore to work every day. After the stroke, he never put them on again.
Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping
He wanted to go back to work. The doctors and physical therapists said they might be able to rehab him for a new job. But the union reps warned him that if he took a new job, he would lose all of the insurance and disability benefits he had earned from his old job. He and my mom still had 2 kids living at home, so they couldn't take the risk of losing the family's health insurance and a guaranteed disability income for a chancey opportunity.
So my dad spent the last 10 years of his life sitting in an old recliner doing word search puzzles and shredding newspapers.
The most vivid memory I have of him right now are the boots he wore to work every day. After the stroke, he never put them on again.
Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping
Into the future ...
Pocket pigs
A Swiss study sponsored by Nestle found that people who crave chocolate daily have a different type of bacteria in their stomachs that people who don't like chocolate don't have. They're not sure if the bacteria causes the craving or eating chocolate causes the bacteria to grow. I think it's a symbiotic relationship.Also, a study in Britain says being fat isn't my fault. It's because I live in an "obesogenic" society. So there.
Things that make me go awww: A guy in Britain is breeding miniature pigs. They're too small to eat but they make great pets.
Things that piss me off: Ellen Degeneres adopted a puppy from a group called "Mutts and Moms." The dog didn't get along with her cats so she found a good home for it with her hairdresser's family, including their 11 and 12 year olds. When the organization found out she gave it away, they repossessed the puppy. Ellen broke down in tears on her show, begging the big meanies to give the puppy back to the little girls who had already bonded with him. Hopefully the press attention will cause them to reconsider.
Things that made me happy today:
1) I took my garbage out. That shouldn't be a big deal but it's hard for me to do seemingly simple tasks like that and I feel like I accomplished something.
2) I realized I'm probably anemic again. This makes me happy because it explains the extreme fatigue I've had for the last week or so. I've been bleeding continuously for going on 2 months now and my skin is very pale. I'll pick up some iron tablets tomorrow and I should have more energy in a few days. And I'm back on the pill, which should stop the bleeding.
3) Watching Damages, starring Glenn Close and Rose Byrne. It's the best TV series I've seen in a long time.
4) Got rid of a bunch of spyware on my computer - it seems to be running faster now.
Turn ons: Glenn Close
Turn offs: anemia
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Potty mouth
In what should serve as a warning to me, a woman in Scranton, Pennsylvania, got charged with disorderly conduct for screaming obscenities at her overflowing toilet. Her neighbor, who happened to be a cop, filed a complaint.
However, a recent British study showed that swearing at work may help employees build team spirit and relieve stress. Fucking A.
Speaking of obscenities, Ann Coulter's website got hacked on Tuesday. Someone posted a message there that said, in part:
You have all been a part of a sick joke that I began considering shortly after first getting on the air. At first, it was quite interesting to see how people would react when I would use twisted logic and poorly masked bigotry.
But eleven years is a long time to be living a fake life, and I can no longer tolerate this falsity. Even someone as fake as I tires out eventually ...
My career as a media figurehead is over.
And while I'm talking about idiots: Michelle Malkin says she will no longer appear on O'Reilly's show. The Daily Intelligencer summarizes:
Crazy attention whore Geraldo Rivera told the Boston Globe that crazy attention whore Malkin was "the most vile, hateful commentator I've ever met … It’s good she’s in D.C. and I’m in N.Y. I’d spit on her if I saw her.” Later, when O'Reilly asked him if he wanted to say something about it on the show because, he said, Malkin's "feelings were hurt."
... Rivera did apologized for his "ungentlemanly" and "ungallant" words ... but couldn't help qualifying that he disagreed with everything Malkin said and basically indicating that he thought she was an asshole ...
Then Malkin referred to his mea culpa on her Website as "a whiny, effeminate, blame-the-victim bleat," and soon after decided that she wasn't going to be a victim of mean-spirited insults, and if anyone really loved her they could go over to her blog where she would be hurling them at others.
Other political news: The National Enquirer claims that John Edwards had an affair with a campaign worker after his wife Elizabeth announced her relapse with cancer. A tabloid isn't exactly a reliable source but they do get things right sometimes.
I've been embarrassed to admit this until now but I Edwards lost my support when I found out Elizabeth had a terminal illness. I'm afraid he would be distracted - he should be distracted - and I didn't want to see their kids' last days with their mom spent in the public spotlight.
I hope that Elizabeth finds a miracle and survives. And I hope the affair allegation turns out to be false.
However, a recent British study showed that swearing at work may help employees build team spirit and relieve stress. Fucking A.
Speaking of obscenities, Ann Coulter's website got hacked on Tuesday. Someone posted a message there that said, in part:
You have all been a part of a sick joke that I began considering shortly after first getting on the air. At first, it was quite interesting to see how people would react when I would use twisted logic and poorly masked bigotry.
But eleven years is a long time to be living a fake life, and I can no longer tolerate this falsity. Even someone as fake as I tires out eventually ...
My career as a media figurehead is over.
And while I'm talking about idiots: Michelle Malkin says she will no longer appear on O'Reilly's show. The Daily Intelligencer summarizes:
Crazy attention whore Geraldo Rivera told the Boston Globe that crazy attention whore Malkin was "the most vile, hateful commentator I've ever met … It’s good she’s in D.C. and I’m in N.Y. I’d spit on her if I saw her.” Later, when O'Reilly asked him if he wanted to say something about it on the show because, he said, Malkin's "feelings were hurt."
... Rivera did apologized for his "ungentlemanly" and "ungallant" words ... but couldn't help qualifying that he disagreed with everything Malkin said and basically indicating that he thought she was an asshole ...
Then Malkin referred to his mea culpa on her Website as "a whiny, effeminate, blame-the-victim bleat," and soon after decided that she wasn't going to be a victim of mean-spirited insults, and if anyone really loved her they could go over to her blog where she would be hurling them at others.
Other political news: The National Enquirer claims that John Edwards had an affair with a campaign worker after his wife Elizabeth announced her relapse with cancer. A tabloid isn't exactly a reliable source but they do get things right sometimes.
I've been embarrassed to admit this until now but I Edwards lost my support when I found out Elizabeth had a terminal illness. I'm afraid he would be distracted - he should be distracted - and I didn't want to see their kids' last days with their mom spent in the public spotlight.
I hope that Elizabeth finds a miracle and survives. And I hope the affair allegation turns out to be false.
I want to set up an aquarium again
It's been years since I kept any fish, but I still have all the equipment. I always enjoyed watching them, especially at night when they slowed down.What I didn't know was that fish actually do sleep. And they get insomnia. Scientists have found that zebrafish have a mutant gene that causes it. The research may be applied to humans someday.
Lately, I've been sleeping way too much or at least at the wrong times. I don't fall sleep until 6:00 or 7:00 a.m. but I stay in bed till 3:00-4:00 in the afternoon. I'm still tired when I get up and I get nothing accomplished all day.
Things that made me happy today:
1. Even though it's been raining a lot for the last few days, my ceiling hasn't leaked anymore.
2. Seeing Oprah with bobbing bee antenna on her head.
I was really scraping the bottom to come up with those.
Kubrick bored me
Remember the Stanley Kubrick film A Clockwork Orange? IMDb says: In a futuristic Britain, a gang of teenagers go on the rampage every night, beating and raping helpless victims.It came out 26 years ago and now, I'm wondering if that future has arrived. A family in England was attacked in their home after details about a birthday party for their 16 year old son were posted on You Tube. From Reuters:
More than 100 uninvited teenagers descended on the family house, stole whisky and champagne, smashed windows and started fighting, according to reports.
Engineer David Worthy, 53, was punched in the face when he tried to turn away a group of youths, while his son Stephen, 18, was badly beaten.
A spokesman for Wiltshire Police in western England said an air ambulance took the teen-ager to hospital in Bath with suspected spinal injuries.
His mother Susan Worthy, 52, a nurse, said they feared for their lives as the youths attacked the outside of the house.
"We were scared stiff," she was reported as saying in the Times newspaper. "There was a loud bang and the windows smashed. I thought they were going to kill us."
Her husband said: "One was swearing right in my face so I pushed him away and then all hell let loose."
What I remember most about the movie was being horrified and fascinated, while also bored to tears because it was more than 2 hours long. Which was my reaction to most of Kubrick's films. Still, it's sad that his last film had to be that Cruise/Kidman debacle "Eyes Wide Shut."
My current dilemma: Robert Redford is one of the few actors I'll shell out the bucks to see in a movie theater. Tom Cruise is one of the few actors I avoid watching even when the movie he's in is supposed to be good. But Tom Cruise stars in Redford's new movie, "Lions for Lambs."
Oh the humanity.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
This happiness thing is getting tedious
Things that made me happy on Friday:
1. Al Gore won the Nobel prize for his work on global warming
2. Jimmy Carter said, I've called Al Gore and urged him to run for president so many times ... He finally told me the last time, 'President Carter, please do not call me any more.'
Things that made me happy on Saturday:
1. LOL Trek
2. the "Caturday" thread on Fark (pictures of kitties make me happy - they just do)
3. watching "Field of Dreams"
4. comments left on my blog - thanks, guys!
The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
That's the name of the second largest religious group at Missouri State University. From ozarksfirst:The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster began just a few years ago with only a handful of members and now its grown dramatically ...
The group is known for its sarcastic support of theories of intelligent design and has strong beliefs that the universe and everything in it was created by a flying spaghetti monster ...
Many members of the organization believe that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking number of pirates since the 18-hundreds.
For more info on FSM (a.k.a. Spaghedeity) and Pastafarian beliefs, check out Wikipedia and the church's official website.
In other news, the only store that sold underpants in Inglewood, New Zealand, stopped selling them. The local priest (a.k.a. "the knicker vicar") organized volunteers to make panty runs to the nearest city. Now, Inglewood is starting a weekly bus service so the local grannies can go shopping for their own panties.
But I want to move to Hialeah, Florida, where a 76-year-old councilman named "Pepe" Caragol is running for re-election with the slogan, "If you like oral sex, vote Caragol for city council."
Turn ons: being touched by His noodly appendage
Turn offs: being touched by his noodly appendage
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Sickening but true
The city of Barceloneta, Puerto Rico, hired a private contracting firm to go into three low-income housing projects and confiscate all the animals because pets were not allowed in the buildings. From Yahoo News:
"They came as if it were a drug raid," said Alma Febus, an animal welfare activist. "They took away dogs, cats and whatever animal they could find. Some pets were taken away in front of children."
But instead of being taken to a shelter, the pets and strays were thrown 50 feet from a bridge in the neighboring town of Vega Baja, according to Fontanez, witnesses and activists, apparently before dawn Tuesday.
"Many were already dead when they threw them, but others were alive," said Jose Manuel Rivera, who lives next to the bridge. "Some of the animals managed to climb to the highway even though they were all battered, but about 50 animals remained there, dead."
Rivera said he alerted officials, who spread lime over the animals' corpses to control the stench.
The owner of the company's response could be summed up as: We didn't do it and anyway, you can't prove we did.
"They came as if it were a drug raid," said Alma Febus, an animal welfare activist. "They took away dogs, cats and whatever animal they could find. Some pets were taken away in front of children."
But instead of being taken to a shelter, the pets and strays were thrown 50 feet from a bridge in the neighboring town of Vega Baja, according to Fontanez, witnesses and activists, apparently before dawn Tuesday.
"Many were already dead when they threw them, but others were alive," said Jose Manuel Rivera, who lives next to the bridge. "Some of the animals managed to climb to the highway even though they were all battered, but about 50 animals remained there, dead."
Rivera said he alerted officials, who spread lime over the animals' corpses to control the stench.
The owner of the company's response could be summed up as: We didn't do it and anyway, you can't prove we did.
Friday, October 12, 2007
We live in a violent & delusional society
Ann Coulter bared her anti-semitic soul on Donny Deutsch's talk show this week. She said that Jews need to be perfected by becoming Christians. Now, a guy has put out $1000 bounty for a video of someone throwing bagels at her.
In more serious news (nobody takes Coulter seriously anymore, do they?) ...
On Wednesday, a 14 year old boy in Pennsylvania was arrested for planning a massacre at his high school. He tried to recruit another boy to help, who reported him to the police. They found a cache of weapons, a bomb-making video, Columbine videos and a notebook full of violence in his bedroom.
The twist in this story is that his mother was arrested today for buying him three of the guns, including a rifle with a laser scope. Another twist in this story is a prosecutor Bruce Castor, who seems more interested in doing the right thing than being tough:
Castor has said he does not believe and attack was imminent or would occur at all. He said Friday that the teen had a "disturbed mind."
"This was a smart kid that clearly believes he was picked on and was a victim," Castor said. "He had psychological issues and began to act out on those feelings."
The same day this boy was arrested, 14-year-old Asa Coon shot four people at his Ohio high school before he shot himself. The other victims survived but Coon didn't.
In more serious news (nobody takes Coulter seriously anymore, do they?) ...
On Wednesday, a 14 year old boy in Pennsylvania was arrested for planning a massacre at his high school. He tried to recruit another boy to help, who reported him to the police. They found a cache of weapons, a bomb-making video, Columbine videos and a notebook full of violence in his bedroom.
The twist in this story is that his mother was arrested today for buying him three of the guns, including a rifle with a laser scope. Another twist in this story is a prosecutor Bruce Castor, who seems more interested in doing the right thing than being tough:
Castor has said he does not believe and attack was imminent or would occur at all. He said Friday that the teen had a "disturbed mind."
"This was a smart kid that clearly believes he was picked on and was a victim," Castor said. "He had psychological issues and began to act out on those feelings."
The same day this boy was arrested, 14-year-old Asa Coon shot four people at his Ohio high school before he shot himself. The other victims survived but Coon didn't.
Quickies
This was the headline on Fark:The cat's food is in the cabinet, the dog's food is in the bin. Put the mail and newspapers on the kitchen counter, and whatever you do, stay away from the pond
The story: An 83 year old Georgia woman who was house-sitting for relatives was killed by an 8-foot alligator.
People who have an arm or a leg amputated often feel phantom pain where their limb used to be. Now people who walk around all day with a BlackBerry or cell phone attached to their hip feel phantom vibrations when they take it off.
A cop in Florida was called to a family's home when their toddler nearly drowned in the backyard pool. The child survived but suffered brain damage. The cop sued the family because she slipped on a puddle and hurt herself. When the police department placed her on leave, she dropped the lawsuit. I hope they fire her greedy ass.
If I ever get hit by a train, I hope I react like this women in Delray Beach, Florida:
“What happened?” she asked the paramedics as they placed her on a backboard.
“You were hit by a train,” a paramedic said.
“Oh,” said the woman. “Can I get a beer?”
I'm not even close so it looks like I might as well start shaving. The world record for the longest leg hair is 4.88" and a guy in Texas thinks he's got that beat.
If you're looking for an idea for Halloween costumes, check out this site. Very cool.
I'm forcing myself to keep doing this
Even though it seems stupid. The theory is that if you focus on what makes you happy you will be happy. Things that made me happy on Wednesday:
- I watched America's Next Top Model.
- Lynne Cheney was on The Daily Show. Jon Stewart was very nice to her and still managed to piss her off when he asked why the dick doesn't speak in favor of gay rights. Go Jon.
- I paid my bills.
Things that made me happy on Thursday:
- I saw my new therapist and my new prescriber today and I felt better afterwards. I feel like they're finally starting to understand me.
- I carried my garbage out. My apartment smells better. (Hey, it's the little things!)
- I went to Walmart at 2 a.m. because I was out of cat food. The store was very peaceful and the checkout clerk was really friendly.
- My car's still running in spite of the fact that it's 18 years old.
- I watched Survivor and Grey's Anatomy.
- Jon Stewart made me laugh. I can't remember what he said but it made me laugh.
- Hillary was on Keith Olbermann and did a great job. She said the days of cowboy diplomacy will end as soon as she's elected. I'm starting to believe she might be able to turn this country around. Seems like a harmless enough delusion.
- One of my online friends emailed. I haven't heard from her in 3 months and I thought she didn't like me anymore. She was just busy.
- Ann Coulter made an ass of herself by saying that Jews needed to be "perfected" by becoming Christian. Making an ass of herself is nothing new, but this time, even she realized she'd gone too far. When she tried to correct herself, she dug the hole even deeper.
Nine things on my list for today. I'm downright euphoric.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
My feet and other tidbits
The Black Frog Restaurant in Greenville, Maine, offers customers a free prime rib sandwich if they skinny dip in the lake behind the restaurant. It's been going on for three years, with 2-3 people taking the plunge every week. Now, one of the local prudes is trying to put an end to it.Stinky Feet: I promise I'll never let my apartment - or my feet - get this dirty. Police in Kaiserslautern, Germany, broke into an apartment when neighbors reported a nasty smell. They expected to find a dead body. Instead, they found a guy with stinky feet and a pile of foul-smelling laundry.
Stinky Feet, Part 2: A man in Houston complained that his roommate's feet smelled bad. The roommate stabbed him to death.
Toe tapping's not the only crime that happens in men's rooms. Somebody in Wisconsion has been stealing toilet paper from the Fond du Lac City County Government Center's men's rooms. He takes about 6 rolls a week.
I wonder if Larry Craig knew about this: Winged Deer Park in Johnson City, Tennessee, has an area with overgrown brush that's known as the Man Cave. During a recent two-week sting, 40 men were arrested on various charges including disorderly conduct, indecent exposure, and sexual battery (for groping an undercover cop). Their ages ranged from 26 to 85.
Speaking of Larry Craig, check out this video on You Tube. Claymation Village People ambush LC in the mens room and sing "I am not gay" to the tune of "YMCA."
My feet? Yeah, they do kind of look like they belong on Fred Flintstone.
Turn ons: free prime rib
Turn offs: anti-gay crusades
My feet? Yeah, they do kind of look like they belong on Fred Flintstone.
Turn ons: free prime rib
Turn offs: anti-gay crusades
Bill O'Reilly is still a sexual deviant
Update on a post from February. Shawn Hornbeck was kidnapped when he was 11 years old and ended up staying with his captor, who repeatedly raped him, for four years. He was finally rescued when the devil (real name Michael Devlin) kidnapped a second boy.
When the story was first reported, Bill O'Reilly said Shawn stayed because he liked it. You can read the full statement here.
Devlin pled guilty and received multiple life sentences this week. From CNN:
During the Washington County hearing, Devlin admitted in graphic detail how he abducted Shawn Hornbeck in 2002 and described the point at which Shawn apparently turned from a kidnap victim into a powerless captive ...
"I attempted to kill (Shawn) and he talked me out of it," Devlin said Tuesday.
Devlin stopped the choking, but then sexually assaulted the boy again. Prosecutors say it was at that point that Shawn told Devlin he would do whatever was asked of him to stay alive.
It was a "devil's bargain" that kept Shawn under Devlin's sway, even as the boy had phone and Internet access, said Shawn's stepfather, Craig Akers.
"We know now the details that made him not run away," Akers said after the hearings.
At the St. Louis County hearing, prosecutors said Devlin kept Shawn tied for weeks to a futon or a couch, with duct tape over his mouth. Devlin left the boy alone when he went to work at the pizzeria during the days and returned at night to sexually assault him.
Prosecutors said Devlin also made a videotape of himself torturing Shawn.
O'Reilly has been conspicuously silent on the matter. I can only imagine how warped his brain must be to believe that a child would choose to be raped and tortured to get out of going to school.
When the story was first reported, Bill O'Reilly said Shawn stayed because he liked it. You can read the full statement here.
Devlin pled guilty and received multiple life sentences this week. From CNN:
During the Washington County hearing, Devlin admitted in graphic detail how he abducted Shawn Hornbeck in 2002 and described the point at which Shawn apparently turned from a kidnap victim into a powerless captive ...
"I attempted to kill (Shawn) and he talked me out of it," Devlin said Tuesday.
Devlin stopped the choking, but then sexually assaulted the boy again. Prosecutors say it was at that point that Shawn told Devlin he would do whatever was asked of him to stay alive.
It was a "devil's bargain" that kept Shawn under Devlin's sway, even as the boy had phone and Internet access, said Shawn's stepfather, Craig Akers.
"We know now the details that made him not run away," Akers said after the hearings.
At the St. Louis County hearing, prosecutors said Devlin kept Shawn tied for weeks to a futon or a couch, with duct tape over his mouth. Devlin left the boy alone when he went to work at the pizzeria during the days and returned at night to sexually assault him.
Prosecutors said Devlin also made a videotape of himself torturing Shawn.
O'Reilly has been conspicuously silent on the matter. I can only imagine how warped his brain must be to believe that a child would choose to be raped and tortured to get out of going to school.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Why pee, Iowa?
I was only half listening to the TV just now. It was a commercial and the guy kept saying, "Why pee, Iowa? Visit whypeeiowa.com."And I was thinking, "Why pee? Well, because if you don't, you'll get a kidney infection and eventually, you'll die."
When I turned around and looked at the screen, I saw that it was ypiowa.com. For Young Professionals.
Unless they're professional escorts who engage in water sports, I'm thinking they should have chosen a better name for their organization.
Just for fun, I googled "why pee iowa." This is the first result I got: Mrs. Doe Pee Buck Lures - Accessories. They sell powdered deer urine and powdered elk urine, among other things.
Since I'm trying to keep up the "happiness journal," here's what made me happy on Monday:
- playing with my cats
- watching "Two and a Half Men"
- email exchanges with online friends
- it didn't rain (the roof is leaking & since it's not supposed to rain for a few days, I can put off calling the building manager about it)
- Hillary is polling ahead of everyone in Iowa and elsewhere
What made me happy so far today:
- righteous anger at Warner Brothers' prezzy
- emails with online friends
- "why pee iowa"
The picture is from uncyclopedia.org's humorous take on Iowa.
Hollywood needs to get its shit together
On the same day that NBC made this announcement:NBC Universal said Tuesday it will buy Oxygen Media, a cable TV network featuring programming for women, for about $925 million in a move to attract more advertisers targeting female viewers.
The acquisition is in line with previous deals by NBC Universal to build female audiences. Last year, it bought the iVillage group of women-oriented Internet sites for $600 million.
The acquisition of Oxygen "increases our foothold in the advertiser-coveted young, upscale, female demographic," NBC Universal President and Chief Executive Jeff Zucker said in a statement.
Jeff Robinov, the president of production for Warner Brothers said this:
"We are no longer doing movies with women in the lead."
WTF??? Deadline Hollywood says of Warners:
This Neanderthal thinking comes after both Jodie Foster's The Brave One (even though she's had big recent hits with Flightplan and Panic Room) and Nicole Kidman's The Invasion (as if three different directors didn't have something to do with the awfulness of the gross receipts) under-performed at the box office recently ...
Oh yeah, the fact that so many Warner Bros movies have been sucking at the box office for the last two years is all the fault of females ...
"It's a phenomenal thing to say. What are we in the 1700s where women are back to being barefoot and pregnant?" a producer railed. "What's next -- fire all the Warner Bros women executives?"
If Don Imus can get fired for calling women nappy headed hos, what are they going to do to this idiot? Fire the bastard!
Or, to paraphrase Salome, bring me the balls of Jeff Robinov.
WTF??? Deadline Hollywood says of Warners:
This Neanderthal thinking comes after both Jodie Foster's The Brave One (even though she's had big recent hits with Flightplan and Panic Room) and Nicole Kidman's The Invasion (as if three different directors didn't have something to do with the awfulness of the gross receipts) under-performed at the box office recently ...
Oh yeah, the fact that so many Warner Bros movies have been sucking at the box office for the last two years is all the fault of females ...
"It's a phenomenal thing to say. What are we in the 1700s where women are back to being barefoot and pregnant?" a producer railed. "What's next -- fire all the Warner Bros women executives?"
If Don Imus can get fired for calling women nappy headed hos, what are they going to do to this idiot? Fire the bastard!
Or, to paraphrase Salome, bring me the balls of Jeff Robinov.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Another day, another scandal
My friend in Seattle emailed me about this one. All I could think is what Rosie O'Donnell says: same same same. Another holier-than-thou conservative got caught with his hand, foot, and/or penis in the cookie jar.Oral Roberts' son Richard is in trouble for abusing his privileges as president of Oral Roberts University. The usual - lavish spending on home remodeling, luxury cars (including a red Mercedes convertible), fancy clothes, private jets, and handouts to politicians.
What makes this case more interesting is that his wife is accused of having illicit relationships with underage males. She spent more than $800 a month on cell phone charges, which included hundreds of text messages sent to teenage boys between the hours of 1:00 and 3:00 a.m. She even got one of them a job.
What does God have to say about all this? According to Richard, God told him:
We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit ... is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion.
Photo credit.
Turn ons: a red Mercedes convertible
Turn offs: big hands
Only $14 for a lap dance?
Somehow, I got the idea that strippers got paid more, but according to this article, they average $14 for a three-minute lap dance.
That wasn't the point of the article though. Researchers have found that lap dancers who are ovulating get better tips. Lap dancers in the estrous phase of their cycles (ovulating) made $70 an hour. They make $50 an hour during their luteal phase (after ovulation until period starts) and only $35 an hour when they're menstruating. Women who were on birth control pills earn less than the others.
The theory is that estrogen levels affect the way a woman dances and walks and that's why they make better tips when estrogen is high. Or it might be pheromones.
That wasn't the point of the article though. Researchers have found that lap dancers who are ovulating get better tips. Lap dancers in the estrous phase of their cycles (ovulating) made $70 an hour. They make $50 an hour during their luteal phase (after ovulation until period starts) and only $35 an hour when they're menstruating. Women who were on birth control pills earn less than the others.
The theory is that estrogen levels affect the way a woman dances and walks and that's why they make better tips when estrogen is high. Or it might be pheromones.
"Nothing ever happens in Crandon"
Today in a small town in Wisconsin: Twenty year old off duty deputy sheriff/part-time cop gets dumped by his 19 year old girlfriend. He kills her and five others, ages 14-20. Then the police shoot him. One of the survivors said, "It's Crandon. Nothing happens in Crandon, ever."
Update 10/10/07: He shot himself. Three times. The first two bullets went into his chin. The third went into the right side of his head.
His family released this statement:
"We are grieving for your losses. We are very sorry for what has happened. This huge tragedy has deeply affected everyone, including us. We also feel a tremendous amount of guilt and shame for the horrible acts Tyler committed. This is not the Tyler we knew and loved."
The victims' families say they hold no animosity toward the shooter's family. A sixth person was shot during the rampage - he survived by playing dead.
Update 10/10/07: He shot himself. Three times. The first two bullets went into his chin. The third went into the right side of his head.
His family released this statement:
"We are grieving for your losses. We are very sorry for what has happened. This huge tragedy has deeply affected everyone, including us. We also feel a tremendous amount of guilt and shame for the horrible acts Tyler committed. This is not the Tyler we knew and loved."
The victims' families say they hold no animosity toward the shooter's family. A sixth person was shot during the rampage - he survived by playing dead.
Happiness journal
On Friday, the author of "Eat, Love, Pray" was on Oprah. I usually don't pay a lot of attention to self-help gurus, but this one said some things that made sense to me.
She said you should ask yourself at the beginning of each day, "What do I really really want?" It can be something you want to accomplish that day or a long-term goal. She said if you don't focus on what you want, you're not going to get it.
The other thing she said was that at the end of the day, you should make a list of things that made you happy that day. Which would fit right into something my new therapist is nagging me about - focus on the positive instead of all the negative.
Things that made me happy on Friday:
She said you should ask yourself at the beginning of each day, "What do I really really want?" It can be something you want to accomplish that day or a long-term goal. She said if you don't focus on what you want, you're not going to get it.
The other thing she said was that at the end of the day, you should make a list of things that made you happy that day. Which would fit right into something my new therapist is nagging me about - focus on the positive instead of all the negative.
Things that made me happy on Friday:
- Watching Dr. Phil - he did an update about the deaf/blind toddler triplets. They're getting better because of the therapy he arranged for them and the mom's face is glowing with hope now.
- Reading Rosie O'Donnell's blog
- Working on my blog
Things that made me happy on Saturday:
- Sorting through the boxes of stuff my aunt and uncle gave me to sell at the flea market; it's fun to see what's there and I'll make a little extra money
- Listening to Pink's song, "Who Knew"
- Reading Perez Hilton's report that Britney's mom and sister are visiting her this weekend
Things that made me happy today:
- Sleeping and waking up feeling rested
- Watching "America's Most Smartest Model" and "Rock of Love"
- The acid reflux/upset stomach/irritable bowel problems I've had for the last week are gone
- I'm having an optimistic moment
Just so you know, it's harder than hell for me to write all those things without adding my usual snide comments.
The answer to the question, "What do I really really want?"
To get one of my novels published. Which means I'd better get busy writing.
I wish I had pockets in my cheeks
When my younger brother got his first hamster, I was totally fascinated by the way the little critter would stuff food in his mouth until his cheeks were almost as big as he was. Then, he'd take it back to his nest and reach in and pull the food out of the little cheek pockets and hide some of it and eat it at his leisure. (By the way, I'm talking about the hamster, not my brother.)Sometimes I just want to eat. I stuff food in my mouth but there's nowhere for it to go except my fat pouches. I'm not even hungry - in fact, sometimes I'm already overstuffed and I keep eating. Anxiety, loneliness, anger, boredom. There's always an excuse. It would be nice if I could just reach in and pull the food back out when I'm done.
I used to purge. Laxatives, vomiting. Made myself sick as a dog - fainting spells, brittle nails, aches and pains, all kinds of gastrointestinal problems - so I stopped.
The picture is from ICHC.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Kissing the ass of corporate media
"We probably could have saved ourselves, but we were too damned lazy to try very hard … and too damn cheap." ~ Kurt VonnegutContrary to all logical thinking, local reporters looked at their retirement plans and their kids in college and promptly puckered their lips on the behinds of corporate media and smooched." ~ Leslie Griffith, investigative journalist
Recently, I read somewhere (wish I could remember where) that Rupert Murdoch's goal as a media mogul was to get people to distrust all journalists because that would make it easier for his cronies (Bush, Rove, et al.) to spread their propaganda without being questioned.
And he succeeded. When Americans see news stories they don't agree with, they dismiss it as the "liberal media" or the "conservative corporate media," depending on which side they agree with.
I found the link to Leslie Griffith's commentary about Dan Rather on Rosie O'Donnell's blog. An excerpt:
As an investigative journalist who worked as both a reporter and anchor for the San Francisco Bay Area's highest rated newscast for 22 years, I can only say what happened to you nationally was also happening locally. You were told to conform to a Republican agenda or shut up. When you refused to march in step, you got Bush-whacked.
I read your brief and I know the drill. The erosion was slow and many of us barely noticed the small chiseling away of who and what we once were. Anchors and reporters depend on high ratings. If ratings fall in television, people get fired. In the months following 9/11, the President's approval rating was 86 percent, and that's when many in commercial journalism lost their way. To disagree or even ask a disagreeable question regarding the President and his decisions was interpreted as disloyal by many media corporations.
But now we have learned. Get the trashcan ready to catch the chips, because the chisel is swinging back the other way and we as journalists are about to regain our voices and America's trust. Dan - the Man - as we call him in Texas is reminding the media conglomerates how it is supposed to work. News and those who report it are not supposed to be for sale. Dan remembers, and he's about to explain it to us on a national scale, but first some explanations from my field of vision as to how we got here.
Dan Rather is suing CBS for $70 million. I may be a conspiracy nut but I think this is CBS's response. This video, posted on You Tube three days ago, shows Dan preparing for a live broadcast. Apparently, it took him 20 minutes to decide whether or not to wear his coat on air.
Here's another commentary I found on MSNBC, from January 2005:
A political party is dying before our eyes — and I don't mean the Democrats. I'm talking about the "mainstream media," which is being destroyed by the opposition (or worse, the casual disdain) of George Bush's Republican Party; by competition from other news outlets (led by the internet and Fox's canny Roger Ailes); and by its own fraying journalistic standards. At the height of its power, the AMMP (the American Mainstream Media Party) helped validate the civil rights movement, end a war and oust a power-mad president. But all that is ancient history.
In one of Kurt Vonnegut's novels, the entire world was run by one giant corporation. It was a nightmarish future and I think the nightmare is coming true.
Sadly, it's been 20-30 years since I read Vonnegut and I can't remember which novel. Reading them all again is high on my list of things to do.
Bootiful Brad
Mr. Pitt climbs over a wall, while filming his new movie "Burn After Reading."
For more Brad booty (and abs and pecs and delts and biceps) watch this clip from You Tube.
I've watched "Troy" a few dozen times. It's better when you turn the sound off.
For more Brad booty (and abs and pecs and delts and biceps) watch this clip from You Tube.
I've watched "Troy" a few dozen times. It's better when you turn the sound off.
If your last name is Slade
Ron the peacock lives in Somerset, England, and he attacks blue cars because he thinks they're love rivals. Recently, he damaged a Lexus to the tune of £4,000.Sir Benjamin, the owner, thinks Ron wants to mate with the cars because he's gay. (The peacock, that is. I'm not sure about Sir Ben.)
An interesting tidbit from the article:
Sir Benjamin bought Maunsel House in the 1980s when it was a dilapidated county pile.
He famously spent 18 months testing the DNA of Slades around the world to find a relative to inherit his £7.5 million home.
Of the 15,000 applicants, the most likely to inherit is Isaac Slade, 24-year-old lead singer of American band The Fray.
If you're a Slade, you might want to give Sir Ben a call.
The train wreck
I haven't posted much (if anything) about Britney Spears because everybody else is talking about her and it's all so sad. But part of my reason for doing this blog is to use it as a sort of scrap book and journal, so I can look back at what I was thinking about on this date. I've been thinking about Britney a lot.
Everything she's done in the last year has been well-documented. She's been divorced, fighting with her family, in and out of rehab, flashing her coochie, sleep-walking through her "comeback" performance at the VMAs, and buying puppies the way other women buy shoes. Her behavior looks very bipolar to me but it might be the drugs -she's rumored to be using oxycontin, ecstasy, cocaine, meth, and alcohol. Who knows what's true but the judge in her custody case ruled her a frequent and habitual drug user. He ordered her to get drug tests and counseling and work with a parenting coach. She was also supposed to get a valid California driver's license but she didn't, even though she was always driving the kids around.
Earlier this week, the judge removed the kids from her home and gave K-Fed full physical custody. She was supposed to have visitation with the kids, but the reports today say that she didn't answer the intercom when K-Fed's people brought the kids over so she didn't see them.
I just hope she hits bottom before she kills herself or someone else.
Everything she's done in the last year has been well-documented. She's been divorced, fighting with her family, in and out of rehab, flashing her coochie, sleep-walking through her "comeback" performance at the VMAs, and buying puppies the way other women buy shoes. Her behavior looks very bipolar to me but it might be the drugs -she's rumored to be using oxycontin, ecstasy, cocaine, meth, and alcohol. Who knows what's true but the judge in her custody case ruled her a frequent and habitual drug user. He ordered her to get drug tests and counseling and work with a parenting coach. She was also supposed to get a valid California driver's license but she didn't, even though she was always driving the kids around.
Earlier this week, the judge removed the kids from her home and gave K-Fed full physical custody. She was supposed to have visitation with the kids, but the reports today say that she didn't answer the intercom when K-Fed's people brought the kids over so she didn't see them.
I just hope she hits bottom before she kills herself or someone else.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
What I missed at the fair
The Iowa State Fair board has decided to end the annual erotic corn dog eating contest. Sponsored by a local radio station, the contest works like this:
Competitors — so far it’s only been women, and all were required to be at least 18 — are given 30 seconds to demonstrate erotic techniques on the staple state fair treat.
“We stress technique,” Pilchen said. “There’s a lot of simulation.”
Condiments are available if the women want to get creative, he said. “We had ketchup and mustard, but the big hit was mayonnaise.”
Good news though: It looks like the White Trash Scavenger Hunt is still on. Competitors roam the fair grounds snapping pictures of people with a mullet haircut, a fanny pack, missing teeth, visible thong underwear or a lower back tattoo they called a "tramp stamp."
Competitors — so far it’s only been women, and all were required to be at least 18 — are given 30 seconds to demonstrate erotic techniques on the staple state fair treat.
“We stress technique,” Pilchen said. “There’s a lot of simulation.”
Condiments are available if the women want to get creative, he said. “We had ketchup and mustard, but the big hit was mayonnaise.”
Good news though: It looks like the White Trash Scavenger Hunt is still on. Competitors roam the fair grounds snapping pictures of people with a mullet haircut, a fanny pack, missing teeth, visible thong underwear or a lower back tattoo they called a "tramp stamp."
Ann Coulter is an attention whore
And a fucking drag queen. Here's how she got my panties in a twist today:
“If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president. It’s kind of a pipe dream, it’s a personal fantasy of mine, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women. It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that it has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it’s the party of women and ‘We’ll pay for health care and tuition and day care — and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?’”
Vanity Fair has an article that says forget about carbon footprint - it's more important to know your "asshole footprint." Some of the ways to know you're an asshole:
If you're age 14-25 and you ...
... Do you leave vitriolic comments in the "Comments" sections of blogs and Web sites, even if you're commenting on something innocuous, such as an old Linkin Park video?
... When leaving such comments, do you use such rote Internet pejoratives as "asshat," "douchebag," and "'tard"?
...When you are being photographed, do you flash gang signs?
If you're age 16-39 ...
... Do you refer to ordinary male pastimes and accessories with such terms as "man-cation," "man-date," "man-purse," "man-orexic," and "man-olos"?
... Do you refer to having young children as "doing the parent thing"?
... If you do indeed have young children, have you launched a blog, or, worse, a video blog, about raising them?
If you're age 40-55 ...
... Do you have money in a hedge fund?
... Is your car worth more than $100,000?
... Have you ever shelled out in the five figures to attend a rock 'n' roll "fantasy camp"?
Vanity Fair also offered a list of ways to reduce your asshole footprint, such as:
... Stop gelling, mussing, and spiking your hair. You should part it, and that's that.
... Go two entire, consecutive days without using a wireless electronic communication device.
... Do not ever again refer to an elderly person, to his or her face, as "so cute."
They said you can also purchase "Asshole Offsets" by contributing to Oxfam, Habitat for Humanity, or a list of other charities.
I would add a few more things to the you-might-be-an-asshole-if list ...
Are you proud you voted for Bush?
Do you believe most of what you see on Fox News?
Is your name Ann Coulter?
“If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president. It’s kind of a pipe dream, it’s a personal fantasy of mine, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women. It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that it has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it’s the party of women and ‘We’ll pay for health care and tuition and day care — and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?’”
Vanity Fair has an article that says forget about carbon footprint - it's more important to know your "asshole footprint." Some of the ways to know you're an asshole:
If you're age 14-25 and you ...
... Do you leave vitriolic comments in the "Comments" sections of blogs and Web sites, even if you're commenting on something innocuous, such as an old Linkin Park video?
... When leaving such comments, do you use such rote Internet pejoratives as "asshat," "douchebag," and "'tard"?
...When you are being photographed, do you flash gang signs?
If you're age 16-39 ...
... Do you refer to ordinary male pastimes and accessories with such terms as "man-cation," "man-date," "man-purse," "man-orexic," and "man-olos"?
... Do you refer to having young children as "doing the parent thing"?
... If you do indeed have young children, have you launched a blog, or, worse, a video blog, about raising them?
If you're age 40-55 ...
... Do you have money in a hedge fund?
... Is your car worth more than $100,000?
... Have you ever shelled out in the five figures to attend a rock 'n' roll "fantasy camp"?
Vanity Fair also offered a list of ways to reduce your asshole footprint, such as:
... Stop gelling, mussing, and spiking your hair. You should part it, and that's that.
... Go two entire, consecutive days without using a wireless electronic communication device.
... Do not ever again refer to an elderly person, to his or her face, as "so cute."
They said you can also purchase "Asshole Offsets" by contributing to Oxfam, Habitat for Humanity, or a list of other charities.
I would add a few more things to the you-might-be-an-asshole-if list ...
Are you proud you voted for Bush?
Do you believe most of what you see on Fox News?
Is your name Ann Coulter?
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