Wednesday, January 31, 2007
If there was one thing Molly wanted us to understand, it's that the world of politics is absurd. Since we can't cry, we might as well laugh. And in case we ever forgot, Molly would remind us, several times a week, in her own unique style.
Shortly after becoming editor of Molly Ivins' syndicated column, I learned one of my most important jobs was to tell her newspaper clients that, yes, Molly meant to write it that way. We called her linguistic peculiarities "Molly-isms." Administration officials were "Bushies," government was in fact spelled "guvment," business was "bidness." And if someone was "madder than a peach orchard boar," well, he was quite mad indeed.
This is from one of Molly's last columns:
The president of the United States does not have the sense God gave a duck -- so it's up to us. You and me, Bubba.
I don't know why Bush is just standing there like a frozen rabbit, but it's time we found out. The fact is WE have to do something about it. This country is being torn apart by an evil and unnecessary war, and it has to be stopped NOW.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Not only am I going to hell but I can never be elected governor of South Carolina. Harsh.
And yesterday, Paul Newman turned 82. This is from an article last November:
Their combined age might be 151, but girls, girls, girls, the reunion last week of Paul Newman and Robert Redford, Hollywood's undisputed heart-throbs (now 81 and 70 respectively), had bosoms of a certain vintage heaving the world over.
Like unexpectedly bumping into your most passionate old flame, the sight of Paul Newman and Robert Redford side by side 37 years after their legendary screen partnership was born in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was a heady reminder of the overwhelming sex appeal that once divided womankind ...
Who could ever forget the tortured, smouldering Newman in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof? Or the achingly gorgeous, perfectly preppy Redford in The Way We Were? (Remember him in naval uniform? He makes Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman look distinctly C list.) And who could ever forgive Barbra Streisand (I never will) for winning that apex of male perfection, only to lose him through constant nagging?
... Of course, it's so easy for other men to sneer at their handsome, successful brothers. Of Robert Redford, screenwriter William Goldman once said: "He's just another Californian blond throw a stick at Malibu, you'll hit six of him." Sure, but how many of the six would combine Redford's knockout charm, talent and intelligence with those boyish good looks (and who cares if he's resorted to tweakings with the scalpel to keep them)?
... Forget the oh-so-pretty boys, those puny Jude Laws, Leonardo Di Caprios and Orlando Blooms, the oafish Colin Farrells and Russell Crowes: they have zero sex appeal compared to these two ...
Just name me one Hollywood superstar or a multi-multimillionaire businessman who hasn't strayed from his wife and upgraded to a trophy 20-year-old? But Paul has remained faithful to the love of his life, Joanne Woodward, ever since he directed her in the Oscar-winning film Rachel, Rachel. They celebrate their 49th wedding anniversary in January next year.
This fact alone speaks libraries about him. I always knew that he was my kind of man, even when playing against type in The Hustler or Hud. And I mean, seriously, the kind you would hurl yourself on to the funeral pyre for.
Newman's the enlightened sort who would love you through thick and thin and wouldn't mind when you began to sag a bit. No commitment-phobic behaviour from him. And he's in the possession of a wicked, irreverent sense of humour, too. Asked recently about the secrets of his amazing mayonnaise, he replied with a mischievous grin, "Necessity is the motherfucker of invention."
Redford, I fear, is a little less humourous and more intense ... I don't care. I'd just be happy to sit and look at him for ever ...
It's men like Newman and Redford who make women want to give up the rat race even, dare I say it, the desperation for equality. Why? Because they are exceptional beings: they have morals made of steel, hearts made of gold, talent made of intelligence, and beauty made of angels. Perhaps I'm getting carried away. But really, that's not bad for 151.
I couldn't agree more!
Turn ons: blue eyes
Turn offs: one nation under God
Friday, January 26, 2007
TC - born in Syracuse, about 150 miles from Bethlehem
TC - still a virgin when he got married
JC - anointed in the river Jordan by John the Baptist
TC - given the keys to the spaceship by John Travolta
JC - ascended into heaven & is seated at the right hand of the Father
TC - ascended the sofa while seated at the right hand of Oprah
JC - turned water into wine
TC - juggled booze bottles in Cocktail
JC - walked on water in the Sea of Galilee
TC - got sprayed with water from a fake microphone
JC - betrayed before the cock crowed by Judas
TC - betrayed between 7 and 8 eastern time by Matt Lauer
JC - born on Christmas day
TC - Born on the Fourth of July
JC - 12 disciples
TC - A Few Good Men
TC - Last Samurai
TC - the Top Gun
TC - "Show me the money!"
TC - came back for a 3rd Mission Impossible movie and raked in 400 million worldwide
Turn offs: Tom Cruise
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
And now for something truly asinine, from guess who:
President Bush will propose deep tax breaks for Americans who purchase their own medical insurance and would finance the plan with an unprecedented tax on a portion of the healthcare plans that workers receive from their employers, according to the White House.
Yeah, that will resolve the health care crisis. What an idiot!
And here's where they're spending your tax dollars, instead of healthcare.
I feel like I'm creeping back toward a deeper depression. I'm having more trouble sleeping, days and nights are getting turned around again, and I'm having a really hard time getting anything done.Turn ons: puppies
Turn offs: Jeb's big brother; he's watching you
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Cherry blames it all on the uproar over Janet Jackson's nipple.
"Desperate Housewives'" Marc Cherry said his strangest DP note came during production of the pilot, in which Eva Longoria's character has sex with her 17-year-old gardener. Looking at the post-sex scene, the DP said "does she have to smoke?" "And I went, 'So, you're good with the statutory rape thing?'" .......
"Do you guys have the nipple problem?" Cherry asked his colleagues. "I spend like $100,000 a week taking nipples out of my show because I've got a couple of actresses who refuse to wear bras, and the Standards and Practices go 'Can't see that.' ... then I'll turn on 'Friends' and it's a nipplefest."
Speaking of nipples, notice the way Sean P Diddy Puff Daddy Puffy Combs is checking out the Golden Globes? It may be the first time I've ever seen a picture of him where he has his mouth closed.
And now to demonstrate that you don't have to be human to host a show on Fox News, here's the latest from that blithering idiot:
Shawn's parents appeared on Oprah today. Following expert advice, they have not asked their son for details about what was done to him but they believe that he has been sexually abused for the last four years. The police discovered child pornography on the kidnapper's computer. Bill O'Reilly is a prick.
Now last night, I said 15-year-old Shawn Hornbeck might have accepted his kidnapping by that creep Michael Devlin rather than trying to escape. I also said I don't believe much in the "Stockholm Syndrome — that is the captive becoming attached to the kidnapper. — It happens, but it's rare. And Dr. Dwayne Fuselier with the FBI for 21 years will back me up on that ...
This is a complicated, disturbing story that is important for all Americans. After teaching teenagers in high school, it is hard for me to believe that a normal kid would stay in a horrible environment when escape was easy, especially if the child had confidence in his parents. No question this monster Devlin made threats and intimidated Shawn. But teenagers have brains and Shawn had the freedom to get away if he wanted to ...
I actually hope I'm wrong about Shawn Hornbeck. I hope he did not make a conscious decision to accept his captivity because Devlin made things easy for him. No school, play all day long.
Turn ons: Jessica Biel's rack (apparently)
Turn offs: posers like Puffy
Monday, January 15, 2007
Kuczynski provides delicious tidbits for the cocktail-party circuit: that, for example, the synthetic collagen called Cosmoplast is manufactured from fetal foreskin stem cells harvested from a single baby boy, who would now be a teenager. (It’s probably a good thing, she notes, that he doesn’t know that cells from his penis are filling “the lips of hundreds of thousands of men and women around the planet.” He might need as many therapists.)
That's from the New York Times.
I watched the Golden Globes tonight (occasionally funny, mostly boring) waiting to see whether or not Brad Pitt won Best Actor for Babel. Oops. He wasn't nominated. The movie was a disappointment. I liked it but it wasn't nearly as good as Iñarrito's other films (21 Grams, Amores Perros). 21 Grams was one of the best movies I've ever scene.
Something not so funny: Take a look at this account of OJ Simpson's If I Did It book.
Turn ons: Steven Colbert
Turn offs: Abusive husbands getting away with murder
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Now that I don't have the HBO and Starz package, and I refuse to pay $3 to rent a movie, Saturday nights are seriously lacking in entertainment. I watched "Moving Up," a show on TLC hosted by Doug Wilson. He dyed his hair to get rid of some of the gray and it's not a good look for him. I can't decide whether or not he's gay. Maybe he's not sure either.
One of the things I've been wanting to look into is whether or not anyone's ever researched the relationship between bipolar disorder and illnesses like the flu. I was so incredibly depressed for months, then I got really sick with the flu and my mood flipped. I feel better than I've felt in a long time.
Next time I'm depressed, I think I'll go hang out around sick babies.
Turn ons: tmz.com
Turn offs: weekends
Friday, January 12, 2007
Mr. Speaker, four years ago this administration took America to war in Iraq without adequate evidence. Since that time, the administration hasn't listened to the American people, it hasn't listened to our professional military, and it certainly hasn't listened to this Congress ...
Now, this president has listened to some people, the so-called Vulcans in the white house, the ideologues. But you know, unlike the Vulcans of Star Trek, who made their decisions based on logic and fact, these guys make it on ideology. These aren't Vulcans. There are Klingons in the White House. But unlike the real Klingons of Star Trek, these Klingons have never fought a battle of their own. Don't let faux Klingons send real Americans to war. It's wrong.
Can you believe Leonard Nimoy will be 76 in March? Everybody's getting so old!
Oh, yeah. And I caved. I watched the rebroadcast of The Apprentice premiere on CNBC, even though I'm boycotting the show. It was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. For the last half hour, I played Spider Solitaire with my back to the TV.Turn ons: Rosie's blog
Turn offs: Getting old
According to his bio on IMDb, this is what he wants on his gravestone:
Here lies Tyler, the Demon of Screamin, who never woke up from the dream he was dreamin, until one day he drank some magic potion, now all that's left is sweet emotion.
At least he's thinking ahead.
Turn ons: Steven Tyler fully clothed back when he still had eyebrows.
Turn offs: Speedos
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Rosie O'Donnell made fun of his hair; Donald Trump called her a big fat slob and a degenerate. And he won't shut up about it.
Everyone but the beer guzzling, ball scratching, misogynistic Republicans who grace NBC's Apprentice message boards think that Donald is coming out the loser. (Interesting how NBC cleanses their board several times a day. The posts complaining about Donald seem to disappear.) Even Barbara Walters, who never trashes anybody, called him a "poor, pathetic man."
Oh, and by the way, Bush is sending 20,000 more troops to Iraq. And stirring up trouble with Iran, even sending air craft carriers to the region. And bombing alleged al Qaeda targets in Somalia.
But I'd rather talk about Brangelina. *sigh* Aren't they beautiful? If you had a guy who looked that good, wouldn't you handcuff him to the bed? And maybe handcuff yourself to him. You could order room service once in awhile, but really, there'd be no reason to ever leave your room.
If you kept him handcuffed you wouldn't have to worry that he'd run off with his next co-star.
My life at the moment: I'm sleeping through the night, going to bed before midnight, waking up once or twice but getting back to sleep, and getting up between 7 and 8. For several nights in a row now. This never happens!
To close for tonight, some comments from my other boyfriend:
Only this president, only in this time, only with this dangerous, even messianic certitude, could answer a country demanding an exit strategy from Iraq, by offering an entrance strategy for Iran.
Only this president could look out over a vista of 3,008 dead and 22,834 wounded in Iraq, and finally say, “Where mistakes have been made, the responsibility rests with me” — only to follow that by proposing to repeat the identical mistake ... in Iran ...
Mr. Bush, this is madness.
You have lost the military. You have lost the Congress to the Democrats. You have lost most of the Iraqis. You have lost many of the Republicans. You have lost our allies.
You are losing the credibility, not just of your presidency, but more importantly of the office itself.
And most imperatively, you are guaranteeing that more American troops will be losing their lives, and more families their loved ones. You are guaranteeing it!
This becomes your legacy, sir: How many of those you addressed last night as your “fellow citizens” you just sent to their deaths.
And for what, Mr. Bush?
So the next president has to pull the survivors out of Iraq instead of you?
To quote Keith Olbermann and Edward R. Murrow: Good night and good luck.
Turn ons: Rosie socking it to the man
Turn offs: Limp dicked idiots who try to prove their manhood by invading other countries