State Senator Ernie Chambers of Omaha, a.k.a. "the angriest black man in Nebraska" filed a lawsuit against God to protest what he considers to be a frivolous lawsuit filed by someone else. Chambers wants:
... a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."
God's response "miraculously appeared" at the Douglas County clerk's office. The almighty agues that Nebraska courts lack jurisdiction. Besides, He says, He gave humans free will so it's our own damn fault for the mess we're in.
I was once under the jurisdiction of the Douglas County courts. About 20 years ago, I went to Omaha to see a therapist. I was weepy and depressed and she was afraid to let me drive home, so I agreed to check myself into a psych ward. The next day, after some medication and a good night's sleep, I was calmed down and wanted to leave.
But the psychiatrist decided otherwise. He filed commitment papers and had me held against my will. It was supposed to be for 48 hours, but it was Easter weekend so he got to hold me for almost 5 days. And he collected $110 per day for his trouble, even though he only came to see me twice the whole time I was there.
Best spring break ever - if you like reading old Readers Digests and eating mashed potatoes and jello.
I later found out the psychiatrist was sued by the state of Iowa for defrauding Medicaid by filing false claims. He had a long history of pulling crap like that.
In other news, a guy in Des Moines got arrested for hitting the back of his wife's head with an onion.