Thursday, November 12, 2009
Two quickies
• BBC headline: New warning on 'perfect vaginas.'
Have you ever wanted "elegant-looking labia"? Did you know there was such a thing? Well, according to plastic surgeons there is and they can be yours for the bargain price of about $5000. Because we all know that no matter how bare you wax that pussy, you won't look like a 12 year old girl unless you trim your labia too. And that's the look men want, isn't it? At least, that's what you'd think if you look at Playboy.
• If your man does want to screw real 12 year olds, you could do what this British woman did. She went into a chatroom and pretended to be a young girl to trap her husband. Then she turned him and his kiddie porn collection over to the cops.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Quote of the day
“Joe Perry, you are a man of many colors. But I, motherfucker, am the rainbow!”
~ Steven Tyler, hogging the stage at a Joe Perry concert to announce that he is not, contrary to rumors started by Joe Perry, leaving Aerosmith
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Quote of the day
"Sometimes life leaves a hundred-dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."
~ from Shit My Dad Says
Linkie Lou
• I just surfed across the Happy Meals & Happy Hour blog and thought it was hilarious. Check out "The One Where the Kid Walks in on Us" (read the comments too) and this video of a kid freaking out when his mom cancels his WoW account.
• An ER doc's take on health care reform
• More quotes from Shit My Dad Says - apparently, CBS is planning to make this into a sitcom:
"Nobody is that important. They eat, shit, and screw, just like you. Maybe not shit like you, you got those stomach problems."
"You worry too much. Eat some bacon ... No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."
"Just pay the parking ticket. Don't be so outraged. You're not a freedom fighter in the civil rights movement. You double parked."
"The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2."
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Good god, what is it with the spammers this weekend?
This is why my blog is set for comments to be approved before posted.
I'd still do them

Joe Perry and Steve Tyler of Aerosmith, looking like glam rock dinosaurs. Or maybe they belong here. Perry would be my first choice. More sex, less drama.
Apparently, Steve is off on a hissy fit, saying that he quit the band. Not the first time that happened. Joe says they're going to replace him.
Motor vehicle dilemma
My 20 year old minivan has been running well. It always starts, even on the coldest days, and gets me where I want to go. I had pretty much resolved to keep driving it until it died. I was hoping to get through the winter.
That plan might be out the window. It overheated last night. Not bad enough to boil over but the temperature gauge got up in the high range while I was at a drive-thru and stayed hot until I got home.
The radiator has a leak, which I've known about for almost a year. I checked the coolant - a little low but not that bad. What worries me is the fan didn't come on when the engine got hot. It might be a broken belt or maybe the fan motor burned out.
The radiator itself would cost about $300 but odds are that I'll need hoses and other things replaced too so the price goes up. And who knows what the fan would cost. It doesn't make sense to put $500 (which is probably a low estimate) into a 20 year old car, does it?
Other problems I know of:
1. The intake manifold leaks oil. I add oil every couple of months. The mechanic said as long as I keep doing that, I could probably drive it another 100,000 miles.
2. The electric window on the driver's side gets stuck halfway down. Not a problem in the wintertime - I don't have to use it. But in the summer time ...
3. The air conditioner doesn't work.
4. The windshield wipers are temperamental. Sometimes they won't come on when they're supposed to, other times they won't go off. Sometimes they come on even when they're turned off. I try to avoid driving when it rains, but when I have to go somewhere, so far, I've always been able to get them to work enough that I can see.
5. The heater doesn't work. I get some heat off the blower - enough to keep the windshield defrosted.
6. My tires should probably be replaced within the next few months
7. The power steering fluid leaks. I have to fill it every few months.
8. The latch on the back door is broken. I haven't been able to open it for a couple of years. The sliding door on the side is really hard to open. Major pain in the ass but I'm used to it.
The transmission and engine block seem to be in pretty good condition. No problems there, but it's only a matter of time, right? The car has 160,000 miles on it, most of them in town. The brakes are good, the battery is about 1.5 years old. It's been a couple years since it's had a tuneup.
I've had this car for ten years and I think I've spent less than a thousand on repairs in all that time. It's the best car I've ever owned. Buying another one would be a crap shoot. Who knows what I'd get.
And that's my dilemma. Put the money into Old Reliable or roll the dice on something else.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Rigor mortis
He's on heart meds - he's eating okay, socializing and sleeping normally.
The only sign that anything's wrong is he's allowing girl cat to bully him. Since he was gone for a day, she thinks it's her house now. If he tries to jump up on the couch or the bed with her, she hisses at him. If he was feeling well, he'd fight her but now he just lets her have it.
All in all, he's doing much better than I expected. If the info I looked up online is to believed, his current life expectancy with this diagnosis is maybe another 3 months.
I really don't have much else to say right now. The rest of my life is going okay - not great, not awful. Hopefully, I'll get inspired soon.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Because I have nothing better to say
A Robert Redford video. I went looking for this to cleanse my eyes after watching a series of pus videos on Pop That Zit.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Update on dread
And now girl cat is vomiting. She didn't meet me at the door like usual, she didn't eat all the food I put out this morning, and she isn't begging for her canned food like she normally would. She's hiding under the bed.
She might be upset because boy cat's gone but I'm considering the possibility that their food was poisoned.
Dread
I was going to call the vet but by morning, boy cat had settled down and everything seemed fine.
Last night, instead of staying in the living room with me like he normally does - usually on my lap - he went off to the bedroom by himself and lay down in a corner where he doesn't normally sleep. He stayed there all night. He didn't eat like normal when I put out some food at bedtime and he didn't jump in bed with me.
This morning, he was still in the same corner. Normally, he'd be in my face, licking me and begging for food as soon as I got up. He stayed in the corner - awake, watching me - and he didn't come out even when I offered him food.
I called the vet. They haven't seen him since 1998 and were a little incredulous that no one else has seen him in all those years. Sorry. I can't pay my own medical bills, how am I supposed to pay for an annual checkup for a healthy cat? I bring them in when they're sick.
We have an appointment in an hour. Debbie Downer is expecting very bad news.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
A few quickies
Note to Roland: If you do get caught in those circumstances, don't flash your badge. The cops might call your office to verify you work there, and your wife who works there too might answer the phone. She might be pissed.
• Somebody doesn't have a sense of humor: Some kids in Utah got a ticket for rapping their order at the McDonald's drive thru.
• Harry Johnson. I just like the name.
• Have you ever wanted to kick a guy in the balls? Some chick in Canada has been walking up to random men on the street and doing just that.
• If you want to gross out your dinner guests on Halloween, this is the recipe for you.
• Fark headline of the day: Trick-or-Treaters are like little Swine Flu commandos, who will infiltrate your home and infect you and everyone you love.
I know a four year old who does this

Just yesterday, she drew glasses and Groucho Marx eyebrows on her face. The differences between the four year old and these guys:
1. She's smart enough to use washable markers and not a sharpie.
2. She doesn't go out and rob people.
3. She wouldn't use a 1994 Buick Roadmaster as a getaway car.
4. She knows everybody will still recognize her even when she's covered in marker.
The picture is from The Smoking Gun. The geniuses in the picture are home town boys from very close to where I grew up. There's not much to do here this time of year. Too late to watch the corn grow, too early to smash the pumpkins.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Naughty tidbits
• You've heard the expression "wear your heart on your sleeve." Now you can wear your pussy on your heart. An enterprising young woman has in Florida makes hand-sculpted vulva pendants. Send her a picture of yours and she'll make you one. She also makes breast pillows, vagina key chains, and pussy pillows with a secret pocket to store your vibrator.
• Ever fantasized about getting a blow job from a vampire? Try one of these.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Miscellaneous
The weather is gorgeous. Bright sun, clear blue sky, cool temp, and the leaves are falling. So why did I spend most of the day inside?
A few things I read today:
• A woman in Florida had both her arms and legs amputated six years ago as the result of a misdiagnosed infection. Now, her 11 year old daughter and 10 year old son are taking care of her. They have to help her put on her prostheses every day and get dressed and put on her makeup, as well helping with the cooking and other chores. The father left the family.
• Harry Reid announced that there will be a public option in the Senate health care bill. Now let's wait for Ben Nelson to fuck this up.
• MSNBC story about families with "good" insurance going broke from medical bills.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Quote of the day
From the old Procter & Gamble Satanism libel to tales of more recent vintage about President Obama’s faith and citizenship, Internet-fueled rumors seem to run rampant. And, frighteningly, Christians seem at the very least to be as susceptible as the population at large to the habit of spreading false stories.
So, why are Christians so willing to believe unsubstantiated rumors? And more troubling, why are Christians, who should hold the highest standards of truth-telling, so eager to spread such rumors -- and even downright libels?
~ from Associated Baptist Press
Angry, hurt, confused
Thursday, October 15, 2009
The bigots are getting bolder
No, this didn't happen in 1959. It happened last week.
Meanwhile, four Republican members of Congress claim that Muslim Americans are plotting against the U.S. by posing as Capitol Hill interns. Rep. Sue Myrick of NC says that "Manchurian interns" have infiltrated national security-related committees in Congress.
Beware the Gay-1 N-1 virus
How many homophobic bigots are in the U.S. House of Representatives? At least 53. That's how many Republican congressmen signed a letter to President Obama demanding that he fire the director of the Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools, Kevin Jennings. They're attacking him for "promoting homosexuality and pushing a pro-homosexual agenda."
You know you gotta watch out for dem dare faggots, 'cause it's catching.
Maybe they need to come up with a Gay Flu shot. Would they support health care reform if it included that?
The best part of this story - my congressman is the gang leader. Iowa's own little pumpkin head Steve King.
I slapped together some quickies
• Somebody burgled a concession stand in New Orleans:
Police are asking that anyone ... whose child may have arrived home smelling of pickles or jalapenos during the weekend, contact Detective Brian Nicaud ...
Don't most teenagers smell like pickles and jalapenos?
• The Sopranos Russian-style: A $1.5 million SUV with diamond-encrusted white gold gauges, gold-plated bulletproof windows, and whale penis leather interior. And Ricardo Montalban thought he had it made with rich Corinthian leather.
• Zombieland: A 21 year old soldier on leave from Afghanistan got carded when he went to see the movie. He got mad and told the clerk he had killed 18 people in the war. Then he killed #19 - he shot himself in the head.
• You're 40 and struggling with infertility. You finally get pregnant through in vitro, then the clinic calls and says they gave you the wrong embryo. Happens more often than you might think. The couple in this Ohio case are giving the baby to the biological parents. Can you imagine what it's like to want a baby so bad and feel it moving inside you and know you have to hand it over to someone else when it's born?
• The 10 year old mermaid girl from TLC and Oprah is in the hospital with pneumonia. Her kidney has shut down and she may not survive.
• Ever feel guilty when you walk past the Salvation Army bell ringers without dropping any money in the bucket? Here's why you shouldn't.